Slowly she is resurfacing, the Muse that feeds my imagination and nudges the words out of my mind and onto the page. I know the change in weather has something to do with it. For about a week now the days have been warm and full of sunshine, just the right environment to entice me out into my beloved garden to work the soil, scatter seeds, and plant some flowers.
Nature has also responded with much burgeoning growth. Trees are budding out at the speed of light and the St. Augustine grass has gone from hay-colored to fresh spring green in the flash of an eye. Tiny green shoots are poking through the earth, a promise of beauty and color yet to come.
Another deciding factor has been the time change. We sprang forward last weekend and the evenings are lighter longer which always brightens my soul. And even though this afternoon the sunshine slowly disappeared and the sky became leaden grey, I was able to feel very grateful and even lighthearted when the rains came to soak the parched ground.
We have had a very mild winter and we really need some rain. I am especially grateful that it has rained today because this means that I do not have to expend time and energy to water the garden tomorrow. We do not have an automatic system and it is quite time and energy consuming to move the sprinklers all around the garden to their allotted spots to make sure everything gets a good soaking.
So here I sit, in my wonderful lanai, outside yet sheltered from the rain, allowing the thoughts to flow and the fingers to run across the keyboard. The sky is still mostly grey and I think we will probably get some more rain this evening. Everything is a fresh lush green and, even though it is already 7.15pm, it is still quite light. I love moving through spring into longer days. For whatever reason it makes me feel more alive.
I think the change in weather and the change in time have happened just perfectly for me right now because both of these events have helped me to move outside and beyond the prevailing sadness that surrounded me and weighed down my heart. This was due to five deaths that have happened among my friends and family since the end of October last year. Dealing with death, even as I accept it as part of life’s cycle, takes its toll in a physical and emotional way. I am just so grateful that I have strong support systems and the right tools to help me deal with it.
Just as nature cycles through her seasons, so too do we humans. And to appreciate and enjoy the new life we also need to accept and appreciate the dying to the old life. I am grateful to have a faith, a belief in God and in a life hereafter. So once I move past the sorrow of loss I can rejoice and celebrate at the soul’s onward journey. Who knows what joys and what adventures await us in the Big Beyond!!
If there is one way that I think I can break through the Muse’s absence it is to share some wisdom from other writers. Perhaps surrounding myself with the written words from other’s Muses will help me to stir up my own words as I struggle once again in a sea of creative silence. So I gather up the myriad scraps of paper from around my desk and my bedside table and pick a few to share with you. And as I do so, I am hoping to open the flood gates of my own words which are momentarily locked away inside my heart.
“For those who believe in Jesus Christ, there is no sorrow that is not mixed with hope.” (Van Gogh)
“Guidance comes when you are feeling relaxed and peaceful. Gradually, you learn to trust the wisdom that comes to you in this relaxed, peaceful state, to speak the words you are guided to say, and to take
the actions you are inwardly directed to take, even if you don’t fully understand why you are being asked to take them.” (Paul Ferrini)
“Laughter is the sun that drives winter away.” (Anonymous)
“Do not walk behind me. I may not lead.
Do not walk in front of me. I may not follow.
Just walk beside me, and be my friend.” (Camus)
“We look forward to the time when the power of love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessing of peace.” (William Gladstone)
“Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth unseen, both when we wake and when we sleep.” (John Milton)
“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” (Charles Spurgeon)
“We are often so caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet along the way.” (Anonymous)
“I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.” (George Washington Carver)
“It’s not just what we do but what we don’t do for which we are accountable for.” (Moliere)
I may just have to share some more wisdom from others for a few days in order to get my own creative juices flowing again. And, as I close this writing, I am just having a “ta-da” moment: supposing I asked God to help me instead of sitting in miserable apathy – light bulb. Maybe my soul is beginning to resurrect. See you on the pages!
It never ceases to amaze me how Creator speaks to me, affirming and reaffirming me as I make my way through the joys and sorrows of this earthly life. And right now I am filled with both joy and sorrow. Yesterday I spent the day at the Grand Canyon in Arizona and my heart was so filled with joy, awe and gratitude that I completely choked up several times, unable to even speak in the face of such vast beauty and majesty. At the same time, back home in Jacksonville, FL, my dear friend and sister-in-Christ, Susan, is very, very sick and probably in transition from this life to the next even as I write.
But even as I experience these two very raw emotions side by side, I am aware of the grace of God present in both situations. Two days ago I wrote about “grace”, and it does not surprise me that when I opened my Daily Word yesterday morning the topic was “grace”. And as I received the latest update on Susan this morning, I felt called to go back and read that reflection which I share with you in its entirety here.
“Daily Word, Tuesday April 12, 2011 Grace
There is no place that is beyond God’s love.
As part of God’s creation, I am blessed with the gift of grace. Grace is bestowed upon me unconditionally, without my needing to earn it or prove I deserve it. Like the father rushing to meet his returning prodigal son, God meets me when I seek the kingdom. Moreover, grace is active in me even when I am not consciously seeking, for there is no place in my mind or heart that is beyond God’s love.
Grace is visible in my life when the consequences of a mistake are gentler than they might have been. Grace is tangible when I feel blessed beyond all imagining. Love wells up within my heart until I feel the full impact of God’s presence.
Thank you, God, for your gift of grace. I know I am always in your loving care.
Grace be with all of you. (Hebrews 13;25)
Peace be with you.