I just spent four days at a Convention and was not able to write. There is a bitter-sweetness that comes over me when I am separated from my lap-top and cannot write. So why not take it along, I hear you ask. Isn’t that what lap-tops are about – transportability?
There is definitely truth in that. However, the Convention required my “presence” from morning to late in the evening, and I have come to respect my body and its need for sleep. So I chose not to bring the lap-top and try to get something done late at night and to take a rest from writing.
I felt very happy with my choice. I was able to give my attention fully to the Convention, which is what I needed to do. However, once or twice as I lay in my bed in those precious moments between wakefulness and sleep, I found myself thinking of my lap-top and wondering if it was missing me:-).
Silly you say, to give personality to a lap-top. But don’t we do that with many of our inanimate day-to-day objects and machines? How many of us name our cars and boats and talk to them or about them as though they had a mind or a soul? And I know there are lots of people who have conversations with their computers, including my geeky, techie husband.
But there you are, I had those thoughts. I was also aware that the Muse was lurking in little corners of my mind, dropping random ideas here and there, and I do admit to jotting down a thought or two when I took a break from the various sessions over the weekend.
So here I am home again. The fact of the matter is that I have been home for two days and this is the first time I have brought the lap-top out to the screen room and allowed my fingers to bring to life the words that run around in my head and heart. Why so long, you ask. Well that brings me to another aspect of my unique personality.
I have a “discipline” problem, always had it. Once I get away from doing something, no matter how good I feel when I do it, it always takes effort to get back into the swing of it. (I’m very much like that when it comes to exercise!!) It may have something to do with that “flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants” thing or it may be connected to the purely “lazy streak” that exists inside this body that loves to be busy.
I know, I know, that’s a contradiction in terms, an oxymoron. But then that’s part of my unique personality too:-). (Remember how I mentioned in another posting that “I’m egotistical in my humility”?) So even as I have wanted to write ever since getting home on Sunday afternoon, so I have procrastinated and found other things to do – or not.
There was a moment yesterday when I went and stood in front of the lap-top. My right hand reached out and made a tactile connection for a few seconds. Then my contrary mind decided that it wanted to do something else – or not.