Are you where you want to be?


Musings: Kicking the Spiritual Doldrums!

Enough is enough is enough!!  I have been wallowing.  At least I think that’s what I’ve been doing.  As some of my closest friends would say:  get out of yourself; live in the solution, not the problem.

This morning one of my reflections was about joy.  As I read it I realized that even though I have not been wandering around looking like a sour-puss, I have been shutting my soul off from the sunlight of the Spirit.  So, right now, in this very moment, I have made a decision to kick the spiritual doldrums!

The sun is shining (which always helps – me at least), the sky is a brilliant blue, and even though its is pretty nippy (the thermometer on my sheltered lanai reads 46 degrees!!), the birds are swooping in my back yard, singing in the trees, and all is really very beautiful.  I am grateful to be alive and feel blessed in so many ways.

I have a beautiful home filled with attractive furniture, interesting and unique items from around the world and, most important of all,  it is bursting at the seams with love.  My pantry and my refrigerator are both well stocked.  There may be many things that I would like, but there is nothing that I need.  I am truly a very blessed person. 

So what gets me so spiritually low?  Me and my ego:-(.  I am a very normal (some people may dispute that!) and basic human being.  I am flawed in a way that only human beings can be flawed.  Despite many efforts to be different, I am full of human wants and, like a little two-year old, when I don’t get my way I have a tantrum.

No, I don’t lie down in the middle of the supermarket produce aisle and kick and scream till “Mommy wants to disappear into a hole in the floor”.  My tantrum is much more sophisticated, much more mature, much more adult!  I usually retreat into self-inflicted martyrdom.  I glide through my days in an aura of subtle Oh-woe-is-me-ism, casting soulful looks at everyone who crosses my path.

I am also tempted to sulk a little.  Oh not a real pouty obvious sulk, but sulking it is nonetheless.  I take on a serious air and to all intents and purposes it seems as though I am bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders.  At least that’s what I like to think I look like. Very melodramatic!!

So this morning I’ve made a decision.  I’m shaking off the doldrums.  I will no longer sulk (maturely or otherwise!).  I am going to reflect the joy that the day is presenting to me right now.  I refuse to be weighted down or repressed anymore, nor to subject others to the hideous grayness that I have been radiating out from my soul.  I am a blessed child of God and will act accordingly.  Perhaps this is a small measure of spiritual growth.  Amen!!!