Are you where you want to be?


Self Nurturing: Changing Lifestyle

About six weeks ago in my posting Going Raw- Part One, I wrote about the process I am going through to change from eating cooked foods to eating raw foods.  This is all part of a bigger process that I have embarked upon in order to get as healthy as I can.  The food area of my life is probably the last major bastion that I am attempting to overcome and, because it has its roots in my childhood, it is proving to be the most difficult.

However, there is another area of my life that I am addressing right now that is having a major impact on my health.  This is in the area of exercise.  Yes, I know, that’s a four letter word in my vocabulary too!!!  I have been struggling with exercise for many years.  Which is really annoying to have to admit when I remember being the athletic person that I was in school.

I played on my High School’s netball team (UK equivalent of basketball) in each year of school.  In several of those years I was the team captain.  I was fanatical about netball and just remembering it, I can feel my adrenaline level soaring.  We played netball during the winter season, September through March, which meant we played twice a week as part of our class PE program and then the team would also practice once or twice a week after school.  Matches were played on Saturdays.

After graduating from school I went on to a teacher’s training college, and sports and gymnastics continued to be part of the regular curriculum.  During my second year of college I “went off the rails” and left to get married.  A baby came along quickly and my new lifestyle was very alien to anything I had known up until then.  Physical activities disappeared from my life.

Many years and a divorce later I attempted to return to some form of exercise.  But I only hiccupped along in fits and starts.  I tried aerobics but felt very clumsy and because I am not good at multi-tasking I simply did not have the coordination necessary.  I tried working with a personal trainer but it proved to be too expensive, so I just gave up.

By now I had remarried and had another baby at age forty and had not been able to rid my body of the baby weight as I had when I was in my twenties. I think this was when I pretty much gave up on myself for a while and simply indulged in eating what I wanted.  The weight slowly crept up.  I remember pledging with myself that I would never allow myself to go over two hundred pounds.  I sat at two hundred for a few years.

About fifteen years ago, while living in Naples, Italy, I met a wonderful yoga instructor and started practicing yoga with her.  I loved the asana’s and working with the breathe. Moving slowly into and maintaining the poses under Meredith’s compassionate instruction, I began to feel somewhat reconnected with my body.  “Sun salutations” became my passion along with the “fish” pose. My weight diminished some and I felt healthy for the first time in a long time.

Then in 2004 I moved to Jacksonville, Florida and, in hindsight, I realize that it took me about two to three years to make the big transition from my European culture to the American culture.  My exercise pattern got lost in the shuffle for quite a while.  Every once in a while I would make a half-hearted effort to implement a walking regime.  I love being outside and walking puts me close to God’s creation which allows me to exercise my body and my soul.  I also found a good Yoga studio and began going regularly again.

Then I had a shoulder problem.  Had to quit yoga while I dealt with that and exercise got away from me again.  Once the shoulder healed I finally pushed myself back into yoga but shortly after that I had a knee problem.  Six months later I tried to get back into yoga again but found that it re-awakened the knee issue so quit.  I tried walking again but the knee was just too much of a problem and, again, I found myself at that quitting-on-me stage.

One day at the beginning of this year I got on the scales and realized that my weight had bloomed to two hundred and sixteen pounds.  I felt defeated and at an all-time low with myself.  I made the decision to try and go raw – again (I had been dabbling with raw for a few years), or at least vegetarian.  But underneath I knew that if I didn’t start exercising I would get nowhere fast.  However, I simply could not get myself motivated to do it.

I think God took pity on me – again. He has a habit of doing that from time to time and when I get to the end of my rope, he offers me the beginning of His!  But, as usual, He has a funny way of doing it.  My husband was hospitalized toward the end of February with chest pains.  Long story short: no heart problems  but he was finally forced to look at high blood pressure and cholesterol issues and the doctors were serious when they told him to make lifestyle changes.  Our diet swung drastically to mainly salads, lots of veggies and fruit, and we cut out most of the carbs.

Within a month or two we both lost weight dramatically.  Then I hit a plateau and stayed there and got depressed.  Underneath I knew the answer was exercise but I just didn’t want to have to deal with it.  Again God came to my rescue in His usual round about way, and in July I was introduced to Wendy, a personal Pilates instructor.  I wasn’t sure that I wanted to do Pilates because my only knowledge of this form of exercise was a memory of a friend who used to do it (a much fitter, younger woman!!!), and she would say things like “We were massacred at Pilates class tonight” or “I didn’t think I’d make it through the whole class today.”

I am grateful for the God-incidental way that I got to Wendy, for I’m sure I’d never have taken the leap otherwise. She is a compassionate but relentless instructor with a grand sense of humor.  I told her where I was at and she said something like “I guess I’ll have to work you”.  I have been doing Pilates twice a week with Wendy since about mid-July.  I have pushed below my plateau, not a lot but enough.  However what has happened to my body is nothing short of a miracle.

I have a level of sustained energy that I did not have before.  My body is so much more flexible and feels very alive.  There has been a shift in shape; I cannot explain it any clearer than that.  The first major change that I noticed was one day when I went to do up the strap on a pair of shoes and realized I did not have to get into a certain position to “accommodate my stomach” as I leaned down!  My tummy has definitely toned and my legs are so much more flexible.  I can climb a flight of stairs without feeling breathless.

This week Richard and I are enjoying our traditional week of Thanksgiving in our time share in Orlando.  Yesterday afternoon we went to Universal to watch the new Harry Potter movie (which was great by the way!).  We walked around for a while before the movie and I noticed that I had no problem keeping up with Richard (he’s over six foot and has a long stride).  Nor did I find myself getting breathless keeping up with him and, in fact, I felt quite invigorated.  Today we went to Sea World and the same thing happenedSmile.

As I sit here typing this post I have to make a confession.  I have been wanting to walk on a regular basis for about a month now.  The reason I have not is because I did not want to feel tired and breathless or realize that I couldn’t keep a decent pace for long.  Yesterday and today have shown me that I can get out there, keep a good pace, and feel really good.  I know that this is partly because of the diet changes I have made as well as the regular exercising with Pilates.  It is a total change of lifestyle that is allowing me to feel good about myself and to feel so much more healthy.  This is what self nurturing is truly about.         

Shared Wisdom: My Friend Max

If you follow my postings you already know about my “love affair” with Max Lucado.  In my opinion, no other modern day spiritual writer touches on the affairs of the soul in such a compassionate and human manner.  His words reach into my heart like the comforting embrace of a friend.  So I was overjoyed to receive a copy of his Grace For The Moment – 365-Day Journaling Devotional from my husband for Christmas.

In the front of this book, as part of the introductory section, are four pages of writing with which I was already familiar from a previous book.  They are what I refer to as “The Choice” pages and whenever I need some  extra grounding in my day I go to them and take a few minutes to read them. I would like to share these daily choices which, as Max Lucado explains, because of Calvary we are free to choose.

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love.  Today I will love God, and what God loves.

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.  I will refuse the temptation to be cynical ….. the tool of the lazy thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings created by God.  I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I will live forgiven.  I will forgive so that I may live.

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.  Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so.  Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray.  Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.  Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.  And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one.  I will be overlooked before I will boast.  I will confess before I will accuse.  I choose goodness.

Today I will keep my promises.  My debtors will not regret their trust.  My associates will not question my word.  My wife will not question my love.  And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

Nothing is won by force.  I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I am a spiritual being……  After this Body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal.  I choose self-control.  I will be drunk only by joy.  I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.  I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control.  To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.  If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on His pillow and rest.

Max Lucado
When God Whispers Your Name

Mentors: Along the Path of Life

Where do I start?  As I look back along the path of my life there have been dozens of moments when the sets of footprints have been many.  I know that God has been with me all the way, even when I have chosen to ignore Him.  So I know that there has been at least one set along the sands of time when He was carrying me and, when I was “in a state of grace”, then we walked side by side leaving two sets of prints.

But those other times when more feet left their mark are when some very special people walked with me.  People who loved me or at the very least cared about me enough to accompany me through difficult times.  Sometimes these people were professionals whom I sought out for specific help.  Other times they were special friends, the kind that leave footprints not only on the path of life but also across my heart.

If I were to be honest, even though I did not recognize it at the time, I would have to say that my mother was my first mentor.  It would probably be even more honest to say that I was not capable of recognizing her in the mentor role.  But with the wisdom that age eventually gives us and with the passage of time, I am able to understand and admit that she did indeed give me many of the values that I hold dear today.

My Aunty Polly was another mentor in my young life.  She was not a blood relative but someone my parents knew from before they were married.  She had an amazing ability to make me feel loved and cherished no matter what I may have done.  She always had a compliment for me and she always smelled of some divine French perfume, and when she hugged me I wanted to stay inside her arms forever.  As I struggled through my teen years her love and support never wavered.  She was always ready to be my champion.

Sad to say I remember no particular mentors in my life during my upper school years or college years, although Aunty Polly was ever available if I bothered to approach her.  This barren period of my life stretched into my marriage to my first husband.  But the barrenness was of my own creation as I slid further and further into isolation.

It was not until a few years after I separated from my him that I began to seek help and became aware that there were some very compassionate people available if I but looked.  Dear Fr. Hill, the Catholic chaplain with the U.S. Navy in La Maddalena, Sardinia was the first of those.  His laughter filled the corridors of the Navy base and filled my battered heart with hope.  In turn he introduced me to a young woman called Lou Ann who was to mentor me through the first few months of struggling out of my “dark period”. 

As I took my place among my fellow citizens on this path of life I slowly understood that there was no stigma in seeking help from professionals.  Since then I have been blessed with help from many psychologists and spiritual advisors: Dr. Lockart, Dr. Fernandez, Dr. Werbel, Dr. Boger, Chaplain Gerry Smith, Chaplain Steve Jensen, Chaplain Wendy Bausman, Chaplain Rod Kelley, Chaplain Terry Robertson, Chaplain Paul Witt, Chaplain Robert Church, Chaplain Mark Logid, Chaplain Greg Gillette, Chaplain Larry Smith.  I know there were others.  I can see their faces but my memory is being unkind and not allowing me to remember their names.

My dear friend Herm del Prato in Naples, Italy was another soul with whom I shared many personal stories and struggles.  His ear was always willing and he was never judgmental.  And how can I forget my “soul sister” Cawne who came into my life in 1987 and, in her own woundedness, opened up a whole new path of spiritual possibilities to me.  Despite a large geographical separation we are deep friends to this day.

As I think of my life today I realize it is full of mentors in the unique friends who I choose to surround myself with.  Men and women who are all questing on their own paths and yet willing to share and give of themselves to me. My beloved Mavis, who is also a substitute mother-aunty-sister-friend and who teaches me to remain teachable.  Cathy and Lorelei in St. Augustine who help me stay true to myself. 

Kathi, Paige, Tish and Robin who all help to keep me “right size” and show me how to live by going out there and living life themselves.  Michael, who massages my body and through his skills, talents, knowledge, and experience helps me to get nearer to myself. Linda who helps me care for my garden and teaches me lessons of genuineness like no other.

And there are many more, too numerous to name, who through their actions and the way they live their lives, fill me with gratitude for their presence, for their friendship.  They enrich my life with love, with compassion, with humility, with joy.  They nurture me along my path.  I am truly blessed.