Musings: Rest And Pause

The other day a friend called asking if we could get together.  I opened my planner and started checking for my next available free time slot.  As I shuffled through the pages I began to feel a hint of panic rising in my chest.  I had nothing available until after Thanksgiving – at least a week after Thanksgiving!!  Feeling guilty, I took a few deep breathes and managed to squeeze a small space of time for a cup of coffee together.

When I got off the phone, I took my planner and went and sat in the lanai and just breathed in God’s air for a few minutes.  There is nothing calms me down quicker than sitting out there, surrounded by God’s creation, and just breathing.  Then I slowly checked through my planner.  Yes, it was very full but I could see that some chunks of time were carved-out-for-me (and husband Rich) time, and I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed and enjoyed the outdoors for a few more minutes before I went on with my day.

I think the panic had come because somewhere inside of me there was this little voice saying, “so you still haven’t learned the Time Lesson yet?”.  This has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn on my life journey, to rest and pause and give myself some dedicated time to relax and restore.  My life has been so much about doing for others and being busy and productive.  I was a do-er, not a be-er. I was always taught not to waste time, and some of those lessons die hard, even when they no longer serve me.

This all got me thinking about how even more busy life seems to get around this Holiday Season, and I think that’s what caused the panic.  I thought I had fallen into the old trap of getting ridiculously over-busy just because it was the Holiday season.  However, a whole week of time is a mini vacation for me and Richard.  Right now I’m also enjoying a sort of two-day vacation in Orlando as Richard is involved in a conference and I’m “along for the ride”.  And on the way home from here on Friday he will drop me off in Sanford for my Audire program instructional weekend.

I have time slots marked down for Christmas card making, and other spaces for doing my Audire homework.  I have some para-professional appointments with people and a doctor’s appointment too.  Scattered in and among these appointments are my Pilates classes and a massage appointment; I have most definitely learned to take care of me even in the midst of busyness.  There’s a concert with a friend and a Christmas party, even if it is an “official function” connected to Richard’s job.

I know I have written several postings about resting and pausing, sharing some of the reflections from the books I read each morning.  Just a couple of weeks ago in the October Daily Word, I read:

When I am out of alignment, my body feels out of sorts, my mind races with thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow.  I feel unsettled.

At such times, I have not lost my connection to Spirit, I’ve just become distracted.  In conscious awareness, I pause, say a prayer and step away for a few moments in the silence.  I immediately begin to feel the Spirit flowing within and through me.

I don’t think we can have enough reminders to “be still and know that I am God”.  Fortunately I have a good husband, friends, and many tools that I use to remind me constantly of the need to give myself time, to just simply be.  Thanksgiving and Christmas are times to be enjoyed, times to relax, times to give some thought as to why we are here in the bigger scheme of things.  Frenetic shopping and filling our calendars with too many activities are not conducive to our inner peace or the harmony of our souls.  I encourage everyone to make a commitment to plan some personal quiet spaces in the busyness of the upcoming Holiday Season.