Musings: Freedom

Since yesterday I have been enjoying a very special freedom.  I was sick for the last two weeks.  Some horrible bug of an influenza/bronchitis type just took hold of my body and shook it right down to its roots.  I was knocked off my feet and spent about seven or eight days in bed followed by five or six days of tentatively, slowly getting back to “normal”.  During that period I made three trips to the doctor. 

I had no desire whatsoever to talk to people or to think about what I might be doing with my day.  I had no desire to be doing anything with my day other than migrating from the bed to the couch and back again.  I was totally worn out from terrible coughing spasms that wracked my body and made me wonder if I was about to cough my insides outside!!

It was only in the last couple of days, as I began to feel a small level of strength and a vague sense of wellness returning to my body, that I was able to admit to feeling a little annoyed about the disruption to my “normal” life, and the “waste of time”.  It didn’t help to know that my husband was missing my misery as he travelled to – guess where?  My beloved Italy!!

There was only one good thing about this period of sickness.  For the first time ever I did not fight the bug.  I was aware almost immediately that something bad had got me and instead of doing my usual heroics and resisting it and trying to carry on as usual, I let it have its way with me.  I knew that whatever it was needed to take its course, so as soon as I realized it wasn’t going away after 48 hours, I got a doctor’s evaluation, medication, and took myself to bed.

I did all the right things.  I stayed indoors neither exposing myself to other germs nor others to mine.  As I said I spent over a week between bed and the couch.  I drank gallons of liquid; water, juices, and lots of herbal teas duly sweetened with honey.  I really took care of me and in doing so took care of others by non-contamination. I prayed a lot and asked God to heal me in His time.

I eventually went outside to run a small errand around day nine.  Then I kept a doctor’s appointment and ran an errand on day ten.  I ventured to the library, one more doctor appointment,  and ran another errand on day eleven.  I did not go wild and try and catch up on everything that I had had to let go of when I was struck down.  By day twelve I felt almost back to “normal” and, joy of joy, I was able to take a wonderful motorcycle ride with my husband yesterday – day thirteen.

As I rode the back of the Harley on a gorgeous sun-filled, warm, day under a beautiful blue sky, I was filled with joy.  My heart overflowed as I enjoyed my new-found freedom from sickness.  I was free of the bug, I was free of being imprisoned in my home, confined to the bed and the couch.  I was free to be outside in God’s glorious creation.  I raised my hands to the skies and shouted “Thank you God, thank you, thank you!!”

I have learned a new appreciation through this experience.  I have a whole new respect for the long-term sick person who is confined to bed, whether at home or in hospital.  The sense of freedom that I enjoyed yesterday as we rode to Daytona has opened my eyes and my heart to what they must suffer on top of whatever health issue is keeping them imprisoned.  So today I have a renewed awareness and heightened level of gratitude for the freedom that good health grants me.