Life Coach: Spirit, Body and Mind » retreat

Musings: Further Along The Road

Margo — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:44:54 +0000

Once again I have been on a writing hiatus. It has led me to realize that I am unable to multi-task on many levels. I have always understood “multi-tasking” to mean the ability to do more than one specific task at a time. I am sure I have already mentioned in previous postings that this is very difficult for me to do. My brain and my body just don’t function well in multi-tasking mode.

I am always so amazed when I walk by my husband when he is working at his computer. I really should say “computers” – plural, because, although he has one computer (on his main desk – I’ll explain in a minute!), he has two screens and sometimes he is multi-tasking between the two and sometimes he is also multi-tasking on each screen. My brain just cannot hold that! It’s way too mind-boggling for me.

Apart from his main desk, he also has a secondary desk which holds another computer and recording equipment which he uses to create his “podcasts”. When he is all set up to record in that space, it looks rather like an old-fashioned radio show. He wears headphones and has a microphone in front of him and I almost expect him to break out into acapella singing. Since he has been indulging in this activity, which is all linked to his web page work, (www.windowsobserver.com), I sometimes think of the computer room/office as a recording studio too.

The lessons I have learned about myself in the last couple of months are myriad. I have lost three friends in that time frame. Two were “expected”. Is death ever expected? The two people, although unconnected in any other way, had actually been struggling with the same lung disease over several years. The third friend’s death came out of left field and left me, and many other common friends as well as his wife, completely mind- and heart-slammed. The first friend, died on 26th October 2011, the second friend died about mid-November, and the third friend died 16 December.

In other words, just as I was absorbing the news of one death the second occurred, and so it was for the third. In the meantime, as death was occurring, life was going on. Normal everyday events, commitments, and activities continued on despite what was going on in heart and mind. Meetings were attended, friends were attended to, school and its accompanying homework had to be dealt with, volunteer commitments were kept, I participated in a retreat, Thanksgiving came and went as did Christmas, and on and off, in the back of my mind, was the little nagging voice that said “I need to write”.

As I look back, I realize that I was actually multi-tasking in general across the board of all these events. Just to be able to deal with everyday life as well as grieve, and support others who were grieving, was a huge multi-tasking effort of its own, and I am so grateful for my relationship with God and my strong support network of spiritual friends who help me to get through tough times such as these and still stay sane.

But to hold all this together and allow the Muse of creativity to come forward is, for me, an impossible task. I have to put great energy into honoring and dealing with difficult situations and emotions such as death and grief, and there is little energy left for anything else. And I need to honor myself and where I’m at in all of that and allow the various processes to sweep through me. It is all important to my personal and spiritual growth.

So now, as I sit here and look out my window (no working on the lanai today, we had a near-freeze last night!), I feel some of the tension surrounding these recent events slipping away. Even though it is too cold to sit outside right now, the sun is shining brilliantly, the sky is that crisp, clean, light cerulean blue that only winter can bring forth, and I am breathing deeply and easily as I notice the hawks circling above the pine trees, the other birds swooping across and into the garden, and the squirrels frolicking on the backyard fence. Muse is creeping slowly back into my heart, honoring and respecting where I have been and gently inviting my fingers to once again play across the keyboard and put the words on the screen.

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Spiritual Growth: A Dream Realized

Margo — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:23:32 +0000

After our stay with friends Greg and Sherry in Minnesota, Rich and I headed west then south through the Dakotas down through Iowa and into Missouri. We had planned to stay in a small town just outside Kansas City. This was no random choice. We were going to spend a couple of days with some very dear friends from our time in Naples, Italy. I had been a team member on many CREDO Personal Growth Retreats with Rod, and Richard and I had both been involved with the CREDO Marriage Enrichment Retreats with both Rod and his wife Trish.

Rod and Trish had made a flying visit with us about three years ago here in Jacksonville. They had been doing some east coast travelling and decided to dip down a little lower than originally planned to spend a day or so with us. That had been the first time we had seen each other since they had left Naples, Italy back in the mid-nineties. So we were very excited to be seeing them again. However, even though they were the primary reason for choosing to make Kansas City a stop on our 4,252 mile retirement ride, I had a secondary motive for wanting to stop there.

During the period 1989-91, Richard was transferred to a ship that was home-ported in Norfolk, VA. Although it wasn’t my first visit to the USA, it was the first time that I had lived here. It proved to be a very difficult time for me. The culture and way of life over here is drastically different from Europe. Everything over here involves distance and there is very little public transportation. And the distance factor enters into creating relationships with other people. In Europe everybody knows everybody. In Norfolk I found it very difficult to make friends; people seemed to live in their own boxes.

However, through a specific fellowship that I am involved with I did manage eventually to create some meaningful friendships. One lady in particular, Gert, became a very good and close friend. In the spring of 1991 Gert gifted me with a a subscription to Daily Word, a small daily reflection booklet that is published by UNITY. That booklet became my lifeline. It is the most positively uplifting daily meditational book that I have ever read. Wherever I went, Daily Word travelled with me, and I have continued to renew the subscription every year since then. I have used their twenty four hour prayer line many times over the years and it is such a comfort and a joy to make a call and get a real person on the other end who truly cares about whatever issue may be bothering me in the moment, and who is willing to pray with me and offer comfort.

Inside the front cover of the Daily Word each month there is a photo of the Silent Unity Chapel. There is always a light on in the top tower of this building and the photo intrigues me. Every time I see it I think, wow that’s where the prayer ministers are who receive all the phone calls and pray with all the callers – at any time of the day or the night every single day of every year. For the last fifteen years I have held a small dream to go there and visit. And here we were, planning to go to Kansas City and I knew that Unity Village was located somewhere close by. So when Rod asked if there was anything particular that we wanted to do/see in the area, I jumped right on it.

On Friday 26th August, we set off with Rod and Trish to go visit the Unity campus. I had no idea what a spiritual treat I was in for; God was in a most generous mood that day. Upon arrival we parked in the main parking lot right in front of the Book Store and Café. We decided to go in there because we figured that we could get information as to the layout of the campus and get directions to the Silent Unity building and chapel. The store was an absolute delight and we perused for a while. The staff was so helpful and we bought a couple of items and received a map of the campus. Imagine my joy when I found out that there was a large, handicap accessible labyrinth laid out on the ground immediately opposite the store. Rich, Rod, and Trish were quite happy to indulge my desire to walk the labyrinth and so with a happy heart I took my walk. Below is a video that Rich made and towards the end there are some still photos that he also took.

While I was walking the labyrinth, a large red-shouldered hawk came and rested at the very top of a tree on the edge of the labyrinth and watched me as I made the eleven circuits. His photo is here below.

When I had finished my walk we all went through a walkway and up some stairs to go visit the Silent Unity Chapel. Nothing quite prepared us for the beauty that lay before us at the top of the stairs. The campus buildings were laid out in a long oblong design and centered in the middle of them was a beautifully designed formal garden with fountains and pools. The whole thing made me think immediately of Europe and of St. Augustine, Florida because there was a Spanish flair in the design. I could have stayed there for hours. It truly filled my heart and soul with great happiness.

We wandered along and crossed the a small bridge over the central pool then headed toward the chapel. Trish and I went inside noting that there were two other people already there – a man and a woman. As we entered, the woman turned around toward us and said, “we are just about to do a guided meditation, would you like to join in?” We both assented, and spent the next fifteen minutes being guided through a beautiful reflection. This was another highlight of the trip for me. We spent a little more time walking around the campus and taking in the peacefulness and serenity of that place, before heading off to have a lovely lunch together.

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God’s Creation: Minnesota

Margo — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 15:00:00 +0000

Our friends, Greg and Sherry, bought an old barn on a large piece of property in Minnesota a couple of years ago. Since then they have spent a lot of time between here, Jacksonville, and there, making changes, clearing a few trees around the barn, and putting on an addition to the original structure. Out of the old barn has emerged a lovely living space of two bedrooms, a bathroom, an open plan kitchen, dining room and lounge area, plus a nice comfortable screened in porch.

There is still a lot of work to do, but the main thrust is there. The rest is mainly “accessorizing”: putting in permanent flooring, deciding on décor and finishes, and painting the exterior. The barn-house is surrounded by woodland and even though there are two sets of neighbors living close by, the trees almost completely hide the other houses from view.

Five days into our retirement ride we stopped to visit with Greg and Sherry. In fact we spent 4 blissful days with them in their “little piece of paradise” (my label). One element of this new habitat that I really enjoyed is that they have installed floor to ceiling windows in the dining room and on both sides of the spacious lounge. This means that not only does a lot of natural light fill the home but it also seems like sitting in the middle of the woods – but with all mod cons!

While we were there, I spent my early morning quiet time sitting in a chair right up against one of these enormous windows. With my meditation books in hand and a cup of herbal tea close by, I was truly in “God’s space”. Greg and Sherry have placed several bird feeders within a few yards of this particular window and the morning activity was quite frenzied. Nuthatches and Downy Woodpeckers vied with Hairy Woodpeckers and Chickadees as well as some small sparrows and titmice, while the hummingbirds buzzed in and out. I also saw a bluebird one day.

The squirrels up there were enormous, about twice the size of squirrels down here in Florida. Although Greg and Sherry had installed a really interesting squirrel feeder for them, they still came and tried to access the bird feeders once in a while. But they also had a plentiful supply of corn down on the ground because our friends also took care of the numerous deer that would come almost up to the house in search of food.

Every evening at about 9pm we would spot movement out among the trees. We would turn off the lights inside the house, and soon we would see the deer emerging cautiously from the trees and coming toward a large block of salt that Greg and Sherry had attached to a tree, and also toward a long wooden palette that lay close by on the ground piled high with corn. They are such graceful creatures and are a delight to watch. One evening we were treated to the spectacle of a mother deer with her two young ones.

During the four days that we stayed, I also got to see an animal that I had never seen before – at least, not in real life. I’m sure you’ve all heard them “singing” and maybe even seen them in an animated movie. Yes, I’m talking about the chipmunk. I was so amazed at how small they were! I had always imagined chipmunks to be the size of a squirrel, but instead they are these tiny little animals probably about the size of a hamster. They were very entertaining scampering here and there in the undergrowth. Richard managed to get some really good pictures one day as a chipmunk decided to sit on a small fallen log not far from the window and complete his/her morning ablutions.

Although they did not come into the yard, we also saw many Canadian geese and wild turkeys not too far from the house as we made various trips in the surrounding area. There were two very large fields on opposite sides of a nearby road that had been mowed recently, and the geese were there in large numbers mainly in the morning, probably more than a hundred at a time, feeding on whatever geese feed on. The turkeys were usually in a lower section of the field apart from the geese.

It was such a joy to be surrounded by so much of nature’s wonders that God created for our pleasure. I am so grateful that Sherry and Greg gave us such great hospitality in their tranquil haven, and I hope it won’t be too long before we can go back and enjoy it some more. We have to go back anyway, so that we can see the finished product that is their summer retreat!

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Freedom: Also a Loss

Margo — Wed, 18 May 2011 15:23:02 +0000

Last Saturday I completed my last class of the first year of my Audire course on spiritual direction. So, yeah – I have some freedom; no homework and no going down to Winter Park each month for class. But, boo-hoo – no more interaction with my very special Audire family until September. Actually, even though we have finished class for the year, we will be getting together in June for an end-of-year silent retreat.

So, what will I be doing with myself for the next three months? Well I have about two and a half month’s worth of writing to catch up on. Between school and travelling and dealing with some chronic left hip pain, I have not done much writing at all. Travelling is always very wonderful but then it comes at a price: the trying-to-catch-up-with-life price. What can I say about pain? For me it is the sheer loss of energy that I put into dealing with the pain that is almost worse than the pain itself. Thank God I have received some special healing, which is something else I have to write about.

There is much I need to write about, starting with an amazing Healing Prayer Mission at our church back in February. Then I had another amazing experience in Sedona that confirmed/piggy-backed on the Mission experience. And then there was my Qigong experience in Orlando at the end of April. During this event, the Qi-Revolution, I received yet another confirmation of my Mission experience and also found the “missing piece”, or rather I was re-presented with the missing piece for my health – perhaps a couple of missing Pieces.

So I hope I have given you enough “teasers” to keep you excited as I formulate my thoughts and get the words down on paper. Actually, on the computer! Back soon!

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The Art of Listening

Margo — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 16:20:00 +0000

I have mentioned in several posts recently that I am enrolled into a program called Audire. This is a three year program which will give me certification as a spiritual director. In the context of the Audire program, spiritual direction is intended as a “being a companion” to someone as they explore where they are at in their relationship to whatever God they believe in. Or, if the person does not yet believe in God, walking with them as they explore what this may mean for them and allow them a safe place to explore the possibility of a spiritual life.

One of the skills that is considered to be of prime importance in this training is the art of listening. As I worked and trained with the CREDO retreat process in the US Navy between the years of 1984 to 2003, the skill of listening was also considered to be the most important skill that we needed to cultivate. Most of the yearly training weekends that I spent with CREDO were focused on activities that helped us to hone this particular skill.

On my refrigerator door at home I have a quotation held in place with a magnet that says something like: “The greatest gift we can offer another is the gift of rapt attention.” I’m away from home right now so cannot verify the exact wording nor do I remember the author of the quotation. Just a few days ago, in one of my morning reflections, I read the following quotation by Dr. Joyce Brothers: “Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.”

Going back to the first quotation, I checked out the dictionary meaning of the word “rapt”. This is what I found:

- completely engrossed: involved in, fascinated by, or concentrating on something to the exclusion of everything else.

- deeply engrossed or absorbed

- blissfully happy: showing or suggesting deep emotions

- transported with emotion

I think the first two definitions are probably the most significant with regards the skill of listening to another, although showing that I am “blissfully happy” or “transported with emotion” as I listen to another in a totally focused way is not so bad either! It would certainly get across the message to them that I am paying complete attention to them and what they are saying.

Listening is just one component of the whole skill of good communication. It is said that when we are communicating with another person several messages are being given and received:

- the message of the words that we are actually saying

- the message that we think we are conveying with the words that we are saying

- the message that the other person hears from the words that we are saying

- the message that the other person then “decodes” from the words that we are saying

- the message that the other person sends back to us in response to the words we are saying

- the message that the other person thinks he has conveyed with the words he has said

- the message that we hear in the words from the other person

- the message that we think we understood (decoded) from the words the other person said.

There may be a few more variables going on at the time which could depend on the parties’ humor, body language, level of distraction, and others!! Is it any wonder that “bad communication” is probably the single most contributing factor to broken relations on the intimate level and wars on the international level?

So, in order to be a “good” listener I need to come to the table in a very specific way in order to offer that “rapt attention” to the other person. Here are some of the tools that I have learned, and continue to hear impressed, in order to be a good listener.

- Look directly at the speaker

- make sure body posture is open and inviting

- clear the mind of other thoughts

- avoid external distractions

- suspend internal judgment

- don’t be mentally preparing a response

- acknowledge that you are hearing by nodding the head or saying “uh huh” from time to time

When the other person stops speaking:

- wait for a few moments and then check with them that they have said all they wanted/needed to say for the moment

- if you are confused about something they said, ask for clarification

- reflect back, summarize what they have said to show them that you have truly been listening

- only then offer honest feedback, being respectful of the other and stating clearly that these are your thoughts and/or feelings in response to what you have
heard

As can be seen, it is not easy to be a “rapt listener” but with a little thought and some willingness to get out of self, we can become the skillful listener that is needed in true communication with another.

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God’s Messages: He Never Gives Up

Margo — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 21:32:00 +0000

Many years ago, during a period that I was living in England, I attended a very special retreat at Aylesford Priory which is located in the heart of Kent. The Priory is an ancient religious house belonging to the Order of Carmelites and dates back to the 13th century. The setting there was extremely peaceful and welcoming and I returned several times to attend other retreats.

The reason that the particular retreat I mentioned above was so special was because I received an incredible gift, the first of many messages that God has given me through others. One of the participants on the retreat was a woman who suffered some physical disabilities. She was confined to a wheelchair and had a companion who helped her with everything.

On the second day of the retreat our group had broken up into small groups for discussion. I do not remember the specific topic that we were discussing but I do remember that I struggled badly with the word “faith”. I was, of course, trying to be very “intellectual” in my participation – probably trying to impress someone as I did frequently in those days. And because I was not being “real” I was totally missing the point.

In my egotistical attempt to appear sophisticated and clever I became very frustrated and irritated. I remember making a comment along the lines of, “so what the heck is this “faith” thing anyway; I’m not a theologian. How am I supposed to understand the notion of faith?”

At that moment the woman in the wheelchair (I regret I do not remember her name), leaned across the table, took my hands in hers and spoke very quietly and gently. I will remember her words for ever, and for ever I will be indebted to her. She said, “Margo, use the word trust.” I sat there, unable to say a word, and my heart filled up and my eyes filled up and my soul filled up.

She continued to explain that she implicitly trusted her companion to take the best care of her physically and in the same manner she implicitly trusted God to take care of her spiritually. I was very humbled and I think that was the moment that I experienced my first real feelings of gratitude. Today the whole of my belief in God rests in trust and this trust in Him has grown over the years as I see all that He has done for me, a wretched imperfect human being.

God continues to send me messages, sometimes through others, sometimes through readings or events that take place in my life. The most recent message is an old and beloved one. It comes from the gospel of Matthew, 11:28.

"Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying
heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

This was the featured scripture verse in one of my meditation books on 27th July. It appeared again in another meditation book on 29th July. And one more time Max Lucado offered it to me in “Grace For The Moment” on 30th July. When He wants to get my attention I usually hear it three times in quick succession. So I am hearing that I need to rest more in the quiet of God. I need to quit struggling and let God do it for me. I need to stop trying to fix situations and people outside of myself. There’s already one Savior and it’s not me!!

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Return To My Spiritual Sanctuary

Margo — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 02:10:39 +0000

Much as I loved and enjoyed my trip to San Antonio, I am so grateful to be back in the spiritual sanctuary that is my garden. I try very hard to keep my small personal routine on schedule when I travel but it is never quite the same. Perhaps if I had lots of money and could stay in the kind of places where I could be guaranteed a quiet terrace, garden, or patio where I would not be disturbed by anyone or anything except God’s incredible creation, then it might be a little different.

The joy of sitting in my lanai fairly early in the morning, surrounded by hummingbirds, butterflies, cardinals, titmice, and mourning doves, as well as the flowers that bloom in my garden and the pine woods out back, is indescribable. The quiet and the beauty restore my soul and fill my heart with happiness.

In my solitude here each morning there is a peacefulness that fills my whole being, a tranquility that I am blessed with, that allows me the perfect start to each day. My meditation books are there within easy reach and I am called to a place of quiet communion with my Creator that sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Here I can bare my soul to the One who loves me always, no matter what. Here I can tell Him my concerns, share my joys with Him, and make any specific requests that I may have. I read recently that, “Faith functions in connection with prayer and persistence. Persistence cultivates the belief that prayer will be answered. A person with a persistent spirit will be blessed.” (The Power of Prayer by E.M. Bounds)

And so I continue in my prayers for special causes that I have, for the many people who have asked me to pray for them, and for all those who have no one to pray for them. And in my praying I am drawn closer to my God. In my praying I go deeper on my spiritual path. And in my praying for others I am released of the bondage of self-importance and of self-centeredness.

I am immensely grateful for my sanctuary. For my special place where I can retreat from the chaos of the outside world. For the quiet that offers me the time to recharge and regenerate to face whatever challenges the day may bring. For the time each day that I am blessed with to nurture my soul. Amen!!

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The Garden: Hummingbird Haven

Margo — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:05:30 +0000

I created my garden to be a place of joy and happiness. Somewhere that I could retreat to and rest. A sanctuary away from the chaos that is the world outside. I created it to be full of God’s natural beauty with flowers and plants and small items of garden art.

I have worked hard to make this creation but it is work that I enjoy and find to be very therapeutic. Gardening is good physical exercise and therefore is a great workout for my body. It is also wonderful spiritual exercise because I usually combine plenty of prayer work as I dig, plant, prune, and weed. So the garden offers me the chance to nurture myself on the physical as well as the spiritual level.

For me there is nothing like being close to God’s creation to fill the heart with happiness and the soul with joy. Watching green shoots emerge from seeds sown several weeks earlier is like having access to my own personal miracle show! And when the plants grow and flowers bloom, filling the garden with perfume and color, I experience a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment like no other.

However, what I did not plan or expect was the incredible daily show that the hummingbirds put on for us. In past years I have certainly been aware of the presence of hummingbirds in my garden. But this year has been an amazing experience. It is almost as though they have made my backyard their official playground.

I have a wonderful plant, which I know as Orange Trumpet Vine, that grows along much of the border fence in the back yard. It also grows up and around the mailbox out front, and climbs up one of the columns on the front porch, trailing over towards the other column about six yards away.

When I made the major renovation to the garden this spring, I “transplanted” the trellis archway from the back yard and made it the focal point of the newly enlarged front flower bed. With the help of my friend Linda I managed to transplant the original Orange Trumpet Vine (I grew it from seeds from the island of Ischia in Italy) that grew all over the archway. Thankfully it tolerated the move well and is now healthily flourishing in its place of pride out front.

The hummingbirds love the nectar in the glorious globes of trumpet blooms that hang richly from the Vine, and so I have always seen them in the summer gorging on their sweet treat. But I also put a new hummingbird feeder out back and would see them from time to time there. I moved this feeder a couple of weeks ago and had my husband hang it on the back wall of the house fairly near the window near my desk computer.

I noticed immediately that there was great activity at the feeder on a very frequent basis during the course of the day. Richard and I also realized that the birds seemed totally unfazed by us being on the other side of the glass and he was able to get some great video and photos of them.

Then it occurred to us that we were hidden from them because Richard had applied a mylar screen to the windows to cut down on heat in our office. So we began to spend quite a bit of time at the window watching these amazing creatures really “up-close-and-personal”. They are nothing less than miracles.

Over the last few days we have keenly observed them. Several times we have noted there were about seven or eight of them zooming in and out of the garden, up into the trees of the pine wood behind our house, then swooping down to “dive-bomb” each other off the feeder. This evening in particular we watched them as we ate dinner in the lanai and noticed some very interesting behavior.

One hummingbird would zoom down, seeming to go the feeder. But she would pull up short and just hover there as though suspended from an invisible thread – a minute angel-like figure with wings spread, beating furiously. Then a second bird would swoop in and hover about a yard above the first. And they would both just hang there, in space before suddenly zooming off up into the trees.

A little later another couple came buzzing across the yard like two F-16’s on a training flight. They twisted and turned, mirroring each others movements until suddenly one turned to face the other in mid-flight and they seemed to do a short dance in mid-air. I am not sure if all this activity is part of mating behavior or if they are just being naturally playful.

Whatever the reason, Richard and I are thoroughly entertained. These delightful creatures are truly amazing to watch. This evening among the many we were treated to the company of a handsome male. As he moved around his ruby-red throat coloring was quite spectacular. I am very happy that my garden has become Hummingbird Haven.

Check out these HD videos of the hummingbirds feeding.

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Shared Wisdom: Resurrection

Margo — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 19:15:50 +0000

At Easter I am always reminded of a very special “resurrection” or “new life” story. This story is one of several writings that we had available as Team Members to read to the participants of the CREDO Personal Growth Retreats. I always tried to be the one to read this particular piece because I found it to be so meaningful and moving. (Unless Chaplain Bruce was on the team, then he got first dibs and I would read my second favorite – a passage from The Velveteen Rabbit by Marjorie Williams.

Jeremy’s Egg

Jeremy was born with a twisted body, a slow mind and a chronic terminal illness that had been slowly killing him all his young life. Still, his parents had tried to give him as normal a life as possible and had sent him to St. Theresa’s Elementary School.

At the age of 12, Jeremy was only in second grade, seemingly unable to learn. His teacher, Doris Miller, often became exasperated with him. He would squirm in his seat, drool and make grunting noises. At other times, he spoke clearly and distinctly, as if a spot of light had penetrated the darkness of his brain. Most of the time, however, Jeremy irritated his teacher.

One day, she called his parents and asked them to come to St. Theresa’s for a consultation. As the Forresters sat quietly in the empty classrooms, Doris said to them, "Jeremy really belongs in a special school. It isn’t fair to him to be with younger children who don’t have learning problems. Why there is a five-year gap between his age and that of the other students!"

Mrs. Forrester cried softly into a tissue while her husband spoke, "Miss Miller," he said, "there is no school of that kind nearby. It would be a terrible shock for Jeremy if we had to take him out of this school. We know that he really likes it here."

Doris sat for a long time after they left, staring at the snow outside of the window. It’s coldness seems to seep into her soul. She wanted to sympathize with the Forresters. After all, their only child had a terminal illness. But it wasn’t fair to keep him in her class. She had 18 other youngsters to teach and Jeremy was a distraction. Furthermore, he would never learn to read or write. Why waste any more time trying?

As she pondered the situation, guilt washed over her. "Oh God," she said aloud, "here I am complaining when my problems are nothing compared with that poor family! Please help me to be more patient with Jeremy." From that day on, she tried hard to ignore Jeremy’s noises and his blank stares. Then one day he limped to her desk, dragging his bad leg behind him. "I love you, Miss Miller," he exclaimed, loudly enough for the whole class to hear. The other children snickered, and Doris’ face turned red. She stammered, "Wh-Why, that’s very nice, Jeremy. Now please take your seat."

Spring came, and the children talked excitedly about the coming of Easter. Doris told them the story of Jesus, and then to emphasize the idea of new life springing forth, she gave each of the children a large plastic egg. "Now," she said to them, "I want you take this home and bring it back tomorrow with something inside that shows new life. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Miss Miller!" the children responded enthusiastically – all except for Jeremy. He just listened intently, his eyes never left her face. He did not even make his usual noises. Had he understood what she had said about Jesus’ death and resurrection? Did he understand the assignment? Perhaps she should call his parents and explain the project to them. That evening, Doris’ kitchen sink stopped up. She called the landlord and waited an hour for him to come by and unclog it. After that, she still had to shop for groceries, iron a blouse and prepare a vocabulary test for the next day. She completely forgot about phoning Jeremy’s parents.

The next morning, 19 children came to school, laughing and talking as they placed their eggs in the large wicker basket on Miss Miller’s desk.

After they completed their Math lesson, it was time to open the eggs. In the first egg, Doris found a flower. "Oh yes, a flower is certainly a sign of new life," she said. "When plants peek through the ground we know that spring is here."

A small girl in the first row waved her arms. "That’s my egg, Miss Miller," she called out. The next egg contained a plastic butterfly, which looked very real. Doris held it up. "We all know that a caterpillar changes and grows into a beautiful butterfly. Yes that is new life, too."

Little Judy smiled proudly and said, "Miss Miller, that one is mine." Next Doris found a rock with moss on it. She explained that the moss, too, showed new life. Billy spoke up from the back of the classroom. "My daddy helped me!" he beamed.

Then Doris opened the fourth egg. She gasped. The egg was empty! Surely it must be Jeremy’s, she thought, and, of course, he did not understand her instructions. If she only had not forgotten to phone his parents. Because she did not want to embarrass him, she quietly set the egg aside and reached for another. Suddenly Jeremy spoke up. "Miss Miller, aren’t you going to talk about my egg?" Flustered, Doris replied, "But Jeremy your egg is empty!" He looked into her eyes and said softly, "Yes, but Jesus’ tomb was empty too!"

Time stopped. When she could speak again, Doris asked him, "Do you know why the tomb was empty?" "Oh yes!" Jeremy exclaimed. "Jesus was killed and put in there. Then his Father raised him up!"

The recess bell rang. While the children excitedly ran out to the school yard, Doris cried. The cold inside her melted completely away. Three months later Jeremy died. Those who paid their respects at the mortuary were surprised to see 19 eggs on top of his casket, all of them empty!

Jeremy’s Egg by Ida Mae Kempel

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OASES: Places of Rest

Margo — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:50:00 +0000

Before you start shouting “spelling”, let me explain. The word “oases” is the plural for the word “oasis”. And just what is an oasis you might ask. Well, the New Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines oasis as “a fertile or green area in an arid region”.

I’m sure you can all conjure up an illustration from some book you have read or a movie you have seen at some time in your past. A vast stretch of yellow desert seeming never to end, unfolding under the scorching midday sun. A straggling line of over-burdened camels plodding through the heat, ridden by dark-skinned men in their long robes and traditional keffiyeh (headdresses). I feel thirsty just thinking about it.

Then, suddenly, there is a splash of vivid green. A half a dozen palm trees and a small patch of luxurious green surrounding a natural waterhole appear on the horizon. There is refreshment, rest, and restoration; a small sanctuary in that land of never-ending parched sand.

The first thirty five years of my life were very arid in many places for long stretches of time, especially the period from age twenty to thirty five. However, as I look back over the years from today’s vantage point, I can see that there were many oases along the way that literally saved my life and refreshed and restored my soul, even though I did not recognize them for what they were at the time.

I am sure if you look back over your life you will be able to recognize similar oases that helped you through the tough times of your journey. Sometimes these oases present themselves as people, special angels that cross your path and help to lighten the load of the burdens you are carrying at that time. People who listen to you, offer you their broad shoulders to cry on, and encourage you to become the person God intended you to be.

In other moments these oases may be in the form of a special place. Somewhere that is full of peace which offers you comfort and solace. A place that allows you to retreat from the world and all its distractions and difficulties. A sanctuary that offers you the opportunity to regroup, to relax, to find solutions. A moment in time to come home to yourself, to grieve, to cry, and then to find the strength to carry on.

I am grateful for the oases that God placed on my path. Those places of peace and restfulness, those people who supported and restored me and offered me a haven of of safety in the midst of trouble, danger, or difficulty. In some measure they have all lead me to the place of joy that is my life today.

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Spiritual Growth: Thoughts On God

Margo — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Many years ago I attended a CREDO Team Building Retreat in Naples, Italy. At some point during the retreat, the chaplain who was leading us read the following quotation:

“The meaning of life is listening to Pavarotti, feeling the sun on your face, drinking a bottle of wine, and then another. The meaning of life is having a safe and healthy society, a happy family life, good health, a loving wife (husband), work that you like, smelling the smell of a new car and the ocean air, being able to hit a bull’s eye, coming home with the fish and not another fish story.”

Carmine Pucci
(Butcher)

That’s right, he was an Italian butcher and these words of his struck a chord deep in my heart. They resonated clearly within my soul. It’s the kind of down-to-earth philosophy/spirituality that brings me home – to myself and to my God.

As I read these words again today I am transported to my beloved Italy where everything is experienced in the moment. The senses are so alive in the Italian culture and emotions are right there, on the surface of the skin. Italians most definitely have a passion about everything they do. Even the most mundane thing is appreciated to the core.

So as I allow a wave of Italian nostalgia to sweep over me, and as I reread Carmine’s words, here are some God thoughts that come swimming to the surface.

See the golden sunrise and the blood red sunset spreading their beauty over creation, and you see God.
Smell the intoxicating perfume of jasmine and honeysuckle, or the aroma of freshly baked bread, and you smell God.
Touch a baby’s cheek with the tip of your nose, or kiss the soft folds of skin on the back of his neck, and you touch God.
Taste the exquisite flavor of a piece of chocolate, or a forkful of fresh home-made Italian pasta or exotic Indian curry, and you taste God.
Hear the song of the blackbird in the evening dusk, or the crescendo of a full concert orchestra, or the whisper of a soft summer wave on the shore, and you hear God.

Amen!!

It’s amazing all the people, places, and situations where I find God. Where I can meet him head on in my day. Right now as I sit in my Florida lanai, I can hear the wind sighing strongly through the pine woods behind my home, and I hear God. The wind is picking up as we experience the outer reaches of tropical storm Ida, and the various wind chimes around my garden are tinkling and I think of heaven, and cherubs, and God.

My cat, Mokka, lies peacefully sleeping on a chair beside me curled into a perfect circle, her body rising and falling gently with each breath she takes. She is a perfect example of God’s creative powers. And the tantalizing aroma of fresh made curried lentil and vegetable soup is wafting through the sliding doors and I am reminded of ……………… my humanity and the fact that I’m hungry and it’s time for dinner!!

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Reflection: Matthew 16:18

Margo — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 03:30:06 +0000

Yes, that’s the Matthew in the Bible, so if you’re not “into” the Bible you might be feeling turned off right now. However, I encourage you, dare you even, to be open-minded and see what I have to say. I’ve already declared myself in previous blogs as “spiritual”, but I think I’ve also shown you that I’m not “holier than thou” and that I have a great sense of humor. So come along for the ride.

I was asked to do a reflection on this Bible verse for a candlelight service that was part of a retreat. No guidelines were given other than I had about seven minutes to speak. So I looked up the verse in the Bible to get the exact words. In my version it went like this:

“Now I say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.”

So I sat back and I thought about Peter. He’s depicted in the Bible as rather an impetuous person, someone who led with his impulses and instincts rather than his brain. Hot-headed might be another way to put it. He’s quite a lot like many of us. I know he’s most definitely like me.

If I had a button to access that governed my actions it would probably be labeled “bulldozer”. I’ve already admitted several times that I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants person. I can still act without thinking things through clearly, throwing myself headlong and with great enthusiasm into whatever the latest project is. Can any of you identify?

Jesus was working with what he had available at the time and I find it interesting that he chose everyday, normal people to be his disciples. He didn’t pick out the learned or the scholarly. He picked fishermen and tax collectors, and during his day-to-day life he associated with the locals and even the “low lifers”.

I’m personally very grateful for that. It allows me, and many others I believe, to identify with these people and realize that if they were worthy then perhaps I too am worthy. If they could sit and talk and eat with Christ then maybe I can get close to him too.

And so Christ chose Peter, an imperfect man, to become the first leader of his church. Peter’s original name was Simon, but Christ renamed him Peter, which means “rock”. With that in mind I began thinking about this reflection and what I wanted to say. As I tossed the word “rock” around in my head, trying to relate it to my own experience, I began to smile.

You see, I am in a recovery program and when I stumbled upon it some thirty years ago, I heard the phrase “rock bottom” used frequently. It means that each person, before they can turn their life around, has to plummet to the very depths. He or she has to arrive at a point of despair and then be willing to surrender totally. And out of that despair,he or she needs to find a certain level of humility laced with a goodly dose of courage in order to ask for help.

So “rock bottom” tends to have a rather negative meaning attached to it. It’s kind of like a necessary evil. It’s a really bad, difficult place one has to get to before any good can come about. But the more I thought about it I realized that reaching rock bottom could be viewed very differently. Rock bottom could be seen as a place of firmness, of stability, and of strength. But before getting down to that base line of solid rock I had to clear away all the mud and filth and muck of my previous lifestyle.

In Ephesians 4:17-19 (yes, I’m going to quote a bit more Bible!!), Paul encourages us to turn our backs on our old way of life. "….you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds; darkened in understanding, alienated from the life of God ……… they have become callous and have handed themselves over to licentiousness for the practice of every kind of impurity to excess.”

Ouch!! I don’t know about any of you, but that struck a chord with me. That was how I was living before I turned my life around. So I had to do some house-cleaning. I had to change old behaviors and attitudes. I had to look into all the nooks and crannies, all the hidden recesses, and dig out all those dark secrets that I had been carrying around for years and throw them out. It reminded me of a song back in the sixties or seventies (may have been Kenny Rogers) that talked about the skeletons that we keep “chained to the walls of the dungeons in our minds”. Once this was done I had my firm rock on which I could build my new life.

Therefore just as Christ called upon Peter to be the rock upon which he intended to build his church (and “church” for those of you who do not worship in a specific religion can mean whatever decent way of life you are called to live), so I believe he calls upon each and every one of us to become that rock. Let’s keep that in mind. Let’s be encouraged to be decent human beings. Let’s keep our house clean and that rock cleared of debris so that Christ can use us to his purpose. Let’s be strong with each other so that “all the powers of hell will not conquer (us).”

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Life Coach: A Way Of Life

Margo — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:00:00 +0000

I can no longer ignore the fact that some of you may be wondering why the words Life Coach precede the words Spirit, Body and Mind at the top of my blog page. Life Coaching is a new career field that has opened up in recent years and I am, in fact, a certified Life Coach. I chose to get my certification with the Certified Coaches Federation (CCF).

However, Life Coaching is something that I have been doing for years. I just didn’t call it that or realize that I was doing that until late last year. That’s when I “God-incidentally” received an email through an unknown source that introduced me to CCF. I contacted them to make inquiries about the certification course they offered and that was when I recognized that most of what they taught I already knew and practiced. I just didn’t have certification in the specific field.

I have already mentioned in previous blogs that I made a serious life change about thirty years ago. This entailed much work on myself, changes in attitudes and behavior, in other words a major lifestyle change. As a result of all of the above, I opened my heart, my mind, and my soul to many opportunities that I would otherwise have never seen. I opened many doors that I had previously ignored and began to live a very full and rich life and continue to do so to this present moment.

I explored many paths on the road back to the religion of my childhood – Catholicism. However, the practice of my religion is only one aspect of my spirituality. Along the way I opened myself to being there for others, becoming part of the CREDO retreat team in Naples, Italy and also becoming a facilitator for a class called NADSAP. This acronym stood for Navy Alcohol Drug Safety Action Program, which was later known as Navy Alcohol Drug and Substance Abuse Program. I believe that today this program carries yet another acronym and name which I do not know.

In order to undertake these roles I had to go through both programs as a willing participant then undertake paraprofessional training. They were both fairly stringent and involved a lot of personal growth and continued maintenance training each year. I will not go into the details of those trainings but I can tell you the skills that we came out with were highly developed in the following areas: active listening, empathy, compassion, tracking, objective feedback, personal disclosure, non judgmentalism, personality recognition, and genuineness.

So let’s get back to Life Coaching. What is it? And why do people need a Life Coach. If you think about a sports team, whether they are good or bad, they got to where they are with the help of a coach, maybe many coaches. The coach is there to assess the teams strengths and weaknesses, to see where they stand right now, and to look at what they can do to achieve future goals. He or she is there to make sure they don’t get stuck.

And so it is with an individual person who is attempting to navigate the oceans of life. Why can’t the team or the individual see that and work to change things without the help of a coach you may ask? The best answer to that question may be because they are all too emotionally close to the the issue/s at hand. In other words they can’t see the forest for the trees, or vice versa.

This is where the coach comes in. However, there is one big difference between a sports team coach and a Life Coach. A sports team coach, once he/she has made all the necessary assessments, then makes a plan and gives instructions as to what the team has to do. A Life Coach creates a professional rapport with the client from which he or she can then help the client recognize where they are at and what goals they want to achieve. Then through the skilful use of uniquely created tools, the Life Coach will encourage the client to take action to achieve their goals.

Life Coaching is most definitely a process which involves a commitment from both parties – the coach and the client. And when I say a commitment I mean a signed-on-the-dotted-line-contract kind of commitment. This creates a professional relationship between the two parties. The coach commits to be there fully and intentionally for the client, and the client commits to stick with the coach for a specified amount of time in order to reach his or her goals.

The main idea behind Life Coaching is to help people to recognize and break through their self-imposed limitations and to identify and achieve goals, dreams, and aspirations that will improve and enhance their lives, their careers, and their relationships. The coach never tells the client what to do. The coach is there to actively and objectively listen, to empower, and then to encourage the client along his or her path.

The beauty of Life Coaching is that it does not “brain wash” or take away from the client’s unique ideas, nor does it seek to interfere with or change their personality. The coach becomes a “companion walker in life” if you will, however the client has to take his or her own footsteps.

Another unique aspect of Life Coaching is that you do not have to be face-to-face with the client to do effective coaching. In fact much Life Coaching is done over the telephone. My personal preference is to have at least one initial face-to-face session with the client and then move to telephone sessions if that proves to be a convenient method for the client to be coached.

Life Coaching is a very satisfying career. It is a privilege indeed when someone asks me to enter their life. My sense of wonder increases a thousand fold as I watch a client’s sense of wonder at themselves increase through the coaching process. I find that it is an honor to help someone to recognize their personal beauty, worth, and potential as they explore their relationships, their place on this earth, and the value that they can bring to anything they put their mind to.

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Musings: Serendipity With Sue

Margo — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:37:22 +0000

So in the middle of my recent “grey blob” period as I dealt with a hornet sting, a traumatizing IV insertion, and a really bad infection in my finger, not to mention a crappy farewell with my husband, God graciously served me some wonderful serendipity. As I left the hospital after the IV debacle and just before my finger turned into a throbbing inferno, I had a lovely lunch with my dear friend Sue.

Sue and I had worked together on a woman’s retreat back in May of this year. We spent several months in formation together, meeting and praying on a weekly basis. As the different women discerned for the various roles on the retreat team, Sue and I chose to work in the chapel and also to deal with the ministry that organized the letters of encouragement for the eventual participants.

We made a great team, complementing each other’s different personalities. Me – the larger-than-life, outgoing, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda gal, and she – the quiet, introspective, not-sure-if-I-can-do-it kinda gal. I really enjoyed working with Sue and we had lots of time to share during the course of the retreat weekend.

Lunch today was the first time we had seen each other since the retreat. I had been travelling and she had been looking after her grandchildren over the summer. I remember seeing her as I crossed the parking lot, sitting outside Panera waiting for me, and I felt this warm fuzzy and thought, “thank you God, Sue is exactly what I need right now”.

We went inside and ordered lunch, found our table and settled down. We talked about so many things, catching each other up on our lives and our comings and goings. Then we went a little deeper and we began to talk about feelings and prayer and spiritual growth. And though we were right there in the middle of a lunch time crowd, we might as well have been on our own desert island.

There was laughter and tears (or lack thereof!!) and we were touching on something quite important for Sue. She had shared something special and personal and God put the right words in my mouth. It was one of those ah-hah moments for her and the light bulb switched on. As we sat in the quiet of that moment, as shared revelations sank into the heart, and tears welled up in her eyes, and I was thanking God for using me to His purpose, I felt a pair of gentle hands on my shoulders.

Turning, I saw with great delight another of our retreat sisters. Hugs were exchanged and we spent a few minutes talking with her before she rejoined her husband for lunch. I turned my attention back to Sue who was shaking her head in disbelief. I smiled and waited for her to speak.

She shook her head as she said, “How amazing is that? The very person who role models the one big thing I have been struggling with these past fifteen years, walks into the restaurant today, while we are having lunch, right after we had been discussing just that thing”. And her eyes filled with tears. I simply said, “There’s nothing amazing about it at all. It’s a God thing. This is how God works when you are open to the growth.”

A little while later we wrapped up our lunch and went our separate ways. I sent a prayer of gratitude to God, thanking Him for the gift of Sue. My time with her had lifted me out of myself and the difficulties I had been experiencing. It had also offered me the opportunity to be an instrument of God and to help someone else.

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Vignettes: The Spirit In Publix Supermarket

Margo — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 16:35:38 +0000

A couple of months ago I was part of a team putting on a women’s retreat. We had come together on the Friday evening to do the set up and preparation for the weekend. There was a lot of physical work involved and by the end of the evening I was tired, disheveled, and sweaty. Although I felt in inner satisfaction at the work achieved, I did not feel pretty in that moment.

Some of the team had already gone home; family schedules or sheer tiredness. But a handful of us put the finishing touches to things, and then gathered for a few moments of prayer together in the small chapel we had just created for the weekend. One of the ladies said a spontaneous prayer about us being instruments of the Lord and asking God to let His light to shine out from us.

On my way home I had to stop off at Publix to pick up a few items. It was almost closing time, about 9.40pm by the time I got there. I ran in, grabbed what I needed, and headed out the store to go home. As I stepped out and into the parking lot a gentleman had just parked in the Handicap slot and was exiting his truck.

In that moment my mind took in a couple of things: he had parked in the Handicap slot and he was using a cane for support as he walked. I took my second step into the parking lot as he turned toward the store and our eyes met. It wasn’t a “frozen-in-time” moment. I’ll try to explain it.

The next three or four seconds seemed to run in slow motion. Everything that happened was like a .1 of a second, frame-by-frame shot of those moments. I took in the gentleman’s physical handicaps (possibly the result of cerebral palsy). I saw his eyes light up as he took in my presence. I watched as his mind began framing a thought and then started transmitting that thought from his brain to his mouth.

Speaking slowly and with some difficulty he said, “You are so very pretty ma’am”. I was totally caught off guard. I think I hesitated for a fraction of a second in my step as I tried to process the words that I had heard and the context of the moment. And then I gave him a huge smile as I replied, “Thank you sir.” Again, I watched his thought process form and the transmitting order going from brain to mouth, and he added, “You are glowing with prettiness”. Without hesitation I said, “That’s because I’ve been about God’s business”. He nodded, tipped his baseball cap, and we both went about our ways richer for our encounter.

This story so far, in and of itself, is beautiful. But it didn’t end there. I went home feeling light as a feather and feeling truly beautiful inside and out, as only a 65 year-old women who was feeling very scruffy at the time of this occurrence could possibly feel. I was not only smiling with my mouth, but it felt like I had a huge smile inside my stomach that was just spreading all over my body.

Next morning I was up before dawn to head over the St. John’s river to the church. We had an awesome first day of retreat and early on Sunday morning we gathered together in our chapel for morning prayers which Deacon Paul had written especially for our weekend. Imagine the synchronicity, the God-incidence that I felt when we came to read the response that he had created for our Intercessions. The exact words were (thank you Sue!), “Lord, make us shine with the brightness of Christ.”Along the same lines:

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Spiritual Growth: God’s Love for Us

Margo — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:23:00 +0000

I have mentioned Max Lucado several times in other postings. I continue to say that he is my favourite spiritual author and is a daily companion for me through his writings. This morning I was carrying my meditation books out to the screened room where I spend my morning quiet time. Max Lucado’s book Grace For The Moment fell to the floor and opened at the page for November 30 which carried this topic: “Ponder the Love of God”.

It seemed like a good thing to ponder in my quiet time. To help you set the scene in your head and your heart I’ll give you the rest of the page. The Bible verse was Ephesians 3:18 – “I pray that you …. will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love – how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is.” Lucado’s comments that followed were: “There is no way our little minds can comprehend the love of God. But that didn’t keep Him from coming…… From the cradle in Bethlehem to the cross in Jerusalem we’ve pondered the love of our Father. What can you say to that kind of emotion? Upon learning that God would rather die than live without you, how do you react? How can you begin to explain such passion?”

Ephesians reminded me of a CREDO Team Retreat that I attended several years ago in a 14th century monastery on the side of a hill just south of Rome, Italy. The monastery was named after Saint Sosio. Set in rich green woodland it was soaked in spirituality. During one of the sessions the Chaplain who was leading the retreat posed this question to us: “What word comes to mind when you think of God?” A litany of adjectives such as “awesome”, “wondrous”, “mighty”, “compassionate”, “majestic” were pronounced. But the only word that would come to my mind was “huge”. In my nightly gratitude journal I faithfully open each entry with “My HUGE God”.

I then remembered a Club Beyond youth retreat that I helped to chaperone in another location in Italy. It was not quite as “spiritually soaked” as San Sosio but it was very beautiful and certainly spiritual enough for the odd band of teens that we accompanied there! A guest speaker had been arranged for Saturday evening (I do not remember his name), but his words have remained indelibly printed on my heart. I believe he was referring to something that the author Brennan Manning wrote when he challenged all the teens to take into their hearts the fact that “God was madly, passionately in love with them”.

Isn’t that what Lucado is talking about too? I have several of the pages in Grace For The Moment with the corners turned down. Most of them refer to God’s love for us. In his comments on March 10 he writes: “If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If he had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning…….. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart…. Face it, friend. He’s crazy about you.” This is just what that Saturday night speaker was talking about too.

And on February 18 under the theme “God Cares About You”, here is what Lucado writes. “Consider the earth! As you stand .. observing God’s workshop, let me pose a few questions. If He is able to place the stars In their sockets and suspend the sky like a curtain, do you think it is remotely possible that God is able to guide your life? If your God is mighty enough to ignite the sun, could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path? If He cares enough about the planet Saturn to give it rings or Venus to make it sparkle, is there an outside chance that He cares enough about you to meet your needs?”

When I look at my life and see the miracles that God has wrought there once I became willing to allow Him into my life, I am sometimes totally overcome. When I think of the dark hole that I used to exist in (I cannot say “live in”), and I know the light and the joy that fill my life today, I know that God loves me passionately. I know that He is crazy about me and that He truly cares about me.

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Spiritual Growth: The Meaning Of Life

Margo — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 02:19:44 +0000

Among all the wonderful cartoons that Charles Schultz created with his beloved character Charlie Brown, there is one about searching for the meaning of life. Charlie goes to Lucy and asks how he can discover the meaning of life. After some thought Lucy responds – “Charlie life is like a cruise ship on which some people think that if they reflect on their past they may discover the meaning of life and so they put their deck chairs facing the back of the ship. Others think that if they look forward to their future they will find meaning for their lives, so they place their chairs facing the front of the ship. “

She then posits this question to Charlie: “So Charlie, on this great cruise ship of life which way do you want to place your deck chair?” After a few moments of thought Charlie replies – “Lucy, I can’t even get my deck chair unfolded.” Can you relate? I know that even though I have been on a dedicated spiritual and personal growth path for about 25 years now, there are still days when I struggle to get my deck chair unfolded.

Growing up I had a desperate desire to fit in, to be accepted, to be part of the in crowd, and yet I also found myself longing to be alone, not wanting to be bothered by others. I oscillated between behaviors that either attracted people to me or caused them to leave me in isolation. The relationships in my life were very dysfunctional: either I was very co-dependent or I tried to be the dominant partner. I put a lot of energy into trying to please others or being an absolute obnoxious rebel.

But whichever the way the wind was blowing in that particular department, the base line or predominant desire in my life became a quest for pleasure. And when I found it, in whatever fashion that was, then my main goal was to get more, more, more. And Western culture in general was on a path in the same direction – of more, more, more.

At this time in my life, age fifteen through thirty five, I was not consistently practicing my faith. I had been “force fed” religion from cradle through College. So when I was free from parental guidelines I moved as far away from my faith as I could. I became totally caught up in a way of life that was founded on me, me, me-ism, and neither church, nor religion, nor things spiritual touched me. And yet, every once in a while, when moments of pure bleakness came over me (as they are wont to do in that kind of lifestyle!), I would creep into the back of a church and “fox-hole” pray (you know: God if you get me out of this, I promise I’ll do that), to some God of whom I had no real concept.

I had absolutely no idea at that time that my soul was thirsting for wholeness. I was just aware, barely, that the more I tried to fill the gaping hole inside of me with material things, bad relationships, and other false gods, the more empty and abandoned I felt. By age thirty five I was on the edge of a deep, black hole of despair. Somehow, I had a rare moment of sanity, a God-incidence, and I was able to seek and get help.

I clung on, like a drowning man clings to a life raft, to a group of people who seemed to care unconditionally for me. They encouraged me to find a God of my understanding and in the mean time “loaned me their God”. I was able to clear the wreckage of my past, make some amends, then begin building a firm foundation for my future. Now let me go back to Charlie Brown and Lucy for a moment.

Lucy talks about looking backward or looking forward to find the meaning of life, and to a certain extent I did need to look back. This was so I could learn some lessons from the past and also see to whom I needed to make amends. But having achieved those two objectives I do not dwell too much in the past. Nor do I look too far down the road or allow myself to get worried about “what if”. Personally I’ve learned to put my deck chair mid ship and focus on what I have right In front of me. But that’s just my particular slant on that cartoon story.

Today the state of me, me, me-ism is no longer a part of my life, and I am able to to reach out to others and try to be of help. I focus on taking care of myself and living an honest, God-centered life. With the help of many amazing mentors who have enriched my life immensely, I have created a deep and personal relationship with my God which in turn leads me to desire more relationship with Him. And funny, the more I am in relationship with Him the better my life is.

As some icing on the cake, I have learned to turn to scriptures, to read books written by spiritual authors (Max Lucado is my personal favorite). I give myself the gift of attending retreats and spiritual workshops; sometimes I facilitate them!! I have created a faith based community for myself and I enjoy healthy relationships today. In another posting I mentioned my husband – a wonderful man who brings many blessings to our marriage and who is also my spiritual partner. And despite today’s frenetic and sometimes unbearably sad and cruel world, the empty and falsely satisfying life that I used to live has become a life full of meaning.

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Spiritual Growth: Bible Scripture

Margo — Wed, 27 May 2009 03:16:02 +0000

A few weeks ago, as I prepared for a women’s retreat, I was asked to do a reflection on Scripture. Because this is about writings from the Bible it is obviously a Christian based article.

I was raised as a “real Catholic kid”: pre-K through Teacher Training college I had nuns all the way! I received formal Religious Instruction classes right through college, but I never remember discussing the Bible let alone opening and reading it. “Bible” was a word that described a holy book, but it was a book that I never read.

I saw my first TV program when I was about 10 years old. It was a movie about a guy whose face had been terribly disfigured and he was a witness in a court case. I remember the movie because of his horrible face and because he swore on the Bible, and that seemed an oxymoron to me because swearing was about bad words, and why would he do that on a Bible??

I have vague memories of certain stories being read at Mass: the Prodigal Son, the Seed Sewer, the Marriage at Caana, but I didn’t associate them with the Bible. The readings were either “cool” stories, boring sermons, or fear-creating admonitions that were part of the Mass.

Picasso had his “Blue Period”; after high school I had my “Black Period”. It lasted approximately 18 years and during this time I had little or no connection with God or the Bible. But thank goodness for the God of Ephesians 2: 4-5: “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of the great love He had for us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, brought us to life in Christ (by grace you have been saved).”

After coming out of my “Black Period” I stumbled along in church but carried all the old knowledge and fear of God. Slowly scriptures began to have some meaning for me as I came out of the dark, but I was still just hearing the word of God, not reading it.

In 1983, thirty-nine years old, I received my very first Bible. It was given to me by the niece of a dear Italian friend, Wanda. who had died. Anna-Maria gave me the Bible because she thought I was “holy” – I actually went to Mass every Sunday!! I remember glancing through it and thinking of Wanda then ……. I put it on my bookshelf.

Years passed and by the grace of God I continued growing spiritually and grew stronger in my faith. I began to conscientiously pay attention to scripture and somewhere between ‘86-89 I joined a mixed denomination Bible Study Group. Rev. 3:20 “Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with Me.”

But I was resistant, the old rebel at heart. I felt “apart from” my Protestant sisters who could recite the Bible inside out. I slunk away feeling very inferior but really it was false pride. Sirach 10: 12-13 “The beginning of pride is man’s stubbornness in withdrawing his heart from his Maker: for pride is the reservoir of sin, a source which runs over with vice.”

Finally I think God took pity on me! In 2004 He sent me on a wonderful retreat experience – Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP). There I discovered the sweet joy of the Holy Spirit who has become a strong vibrant fire in my soul. During my CRHP retreat I was encouraged to dive into the Bible and find nurturing comfort for my soul. In the years between 1979 and 2004 I had been reading daily meditational books which for the most part contained scripture verses alongside a theme reflection. I read the reflection, but always skipped the scripture. Today I not only read the Bible verses but I also spend time reflecting on them, savoring them and seeing just how they connect with the theme and what application they have in my life.

I have come to love the Psalms. If I get too busy I think of 46:10 “Be still and know I am God”. When I am burdened or overwhelmed I read 23:2 “In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me.” As I gather with friends for prayer or meditation, I frequently think of Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” And when I am unsure of my direction there are no verses more comforting and encouraging than Jeremiah 29:12-12 “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord. Plans for your welfare, not for your woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you.”

The Bible is no longer a book that sits on my bookshelf. Sometimes it is by my bed. At other times it is on the coffee table, or my desk, and other days it can be found on the patio table. I have attached book tabs so that I can easily locate a verse that I am looking for. It is showing signs of wear and tear. Scripture has meaning in my life today.Along the same lines:

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