Life Coach: Spirit, Body and Mind » experience

Minnesota: The Travelling Dinner

Margo — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:00:00 +0000

In my previous posting Vignette- Paula in Minnesota, I mentioned the “travelling dinner”. I vaguely remember some years ago a friend talking about a “neighborhood dinner”, where everyone from the neighborhood (a fairly small one I believe) shared a meal. However, instead of all coming to one house to eat, the families went from house to house eating a course here and another there.

So on one of the evenings that we spent at Sherry and Greg’s place in Minnesota, we were invited to participate in a travelling dinner. Two of the couples did not live in the immediate vicinity of Sherry and Greg’s house, but were great friends of all the people who did. So they brought their contributions to the meal to Deb and Crystal’s home.

On the appointed evening at the appointed time Sherry, Greg, Rich and myself walked down the driveway. It was a very pleasant evening so the walk was very enjoyable. We made a right-hand turn onto the road at the bottom of the driveway, walked about fifty yards, passing the driveway that led to Connie and Joe’s house (Sherry and Greg’s immediate neighbors), before making another right-hand turn into Deb and Crystal’s driveway.

No house could be seen, so I wondered how long of a walk this was going to be. I needn’t have worried. The driveway sloped upward for about fifty yards and as we crested the top we saw that it then sloped downwards for about another fifty yards and there at the bottom, slightly to the right, stood the house. From this view point it appeared to be a one-story building with beautifully cultivated flower beds on the one side, and a wonderful large fire pit encircled by brightly colored Adirondack chairs which in turn were surrounded by more raised flower beds. All this was then surrounded by lush green grass and trees. Another piece of heaven!

Kokopelli entranced me!

But the view of the house was deceptive because it was built on a fairly steep slope. It wasn’t until another day that I saw the other side of the house and realized there was a lower level which contained a spacious apartment where Deb’s Mom, Mary, and Deb’s sister, Paula, lived. It took me a while to actually go into the house because, being the gardener that I am, I had to check out all the beautiful flowers in bloom and the various plants that I didn’t recognize, plus there were lots of interesting and whimsical garden decorations to look at.

Eventually I made it inside where there were some delightful appetizers laid out. Once we filled our plates, most of us migrated through the kitchen and dining area to a lovely screened-in room located at the back of the house. The view was as delicious as the food we ate. As I mentioned before, the house was built on a fairly steep slope, so this room was was quite elevated and gave the impression that we were seated among the tree tops. (For me it was a small God-moment.) It was here that we got to meet the non-neighbors, Char and Frank and Doug and Deb.

After about forty five minutes of eating and socializing, it was deemed time to move to the next course. This was to be eaten at Connie and Joe’s house and we were told that we were going via the “scenic route”. So we all trooped out in Indian file and followed a pathway that they had created through the woods connecting the two houses. It was rather magical and I half expected fairies and pixies to jump out from behind the trees. The crossing point between the two properties was marked by a lovely vine-covered trellis archway that stood over a couple of steps down. My heart actually started beating a little faster right here because in a “deja vue” moment it reminded me of my Dad’s garden. (See my posting Vignettes- My Kingdom.)

All of these neighbors are avid gardeners, so we found ourselves stepping into another beautifully appointed garden where flower beds were in full bloom with lots of lush greenery everywhere and more whimsical garden features. We spent quite a bit of time checking everything out. A special mention needs to be made here about Joe’s “work shed”. I’m talking about a GIGANTIC work shed the size of a small warehouse. There were big tools and small tools, and every kind of small (and some not so small) machinery all neatly laid out. As you can imagine, the men folks in our party were in hog heaven.

Don’t you just love her!!

After admiring everything, flower beds and the work shed contents, we all drifted into Connie and Joe’s where a second round of appetizers was laid out. More eating and more socializing took place and by this time a few glasses of wine had been consumed so there was lots of merriment and laughter. In the meantime some rain clouds had gathered and so we got sprinkled on a little as we made our way over to Sherry and Greg’s. Earlier in the afternoon I had helped Sherry assemble a huge bowl of a very colorful mixed salad into which we had put everything bar the kitchen sink! As people came in, we tossed it in a home made dressing and in no time at all that huge bowl was empty.

We were all beginning to get full tummies but the walk back to Deb and Crystal’s house must have helped our digestive systems because we were ready for the main course by the time we got there. Actually some of us rode in the car because of the rain, but we were still ready. I think the laughter and the socializing shook the food down nicely because we even had room for dessert after eating yet another plateful of food. It was altogether a very fun experience and I’m already plotting and planning to see how I can replicate it, even though most of my friends live in rather spread out areas. But maybe that will make it even more interesting. I’ll let you know when and how I make it happen.

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Spiritual Growth: Being Called To More

Margo — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 19:06:39 +0000

On June 18th 2011, I posted Spiritual Growth: The Lenten Mission. In that posting I explained that Fr. Jim reminded us that Jesus invited us to continue his work on earth (John 14:12-14). During the Mission I had a personal experience that strengthened this invitation.

On the third evening of the Mission we were encouraged to approach the Prayer Ministers with any requests for special intentions or issues that we might have. I felt strongly compelled to go to Kevin, one of the Prayer Ministers who had travelled down from Chicago with Fr. Jim. There were two reasons for my choice. Firstly, Kevin had played an important role in my husband’s personal experience the previous evening and I wanted to thank him for that, and secondly I was aware of an intense spiritual energy around Kevin and I wanted to experience that for myself.

As I began to express my gratitude to him and then started to speak my first special prayer request, Kevin held up his right hand and said, “Stop Margo. Do you realize how much the Spirit is working in you, already using you to do his work?” I was somewhat taken aback, and faltered in my reply as Kevin continued to say to me, “But why are you holding back Margo? What are you afraid of?” Again, I fumbled with my words even as a picture formed in my mind.

Seven years prior, shortly after arriving in Jacksonville, I had bought a bicycle with the intention of riding it in my wonderfully safe neighborhood. The bicycle has sat in my garage – unused. I have been scared to get on it because it’s been about 50 years since I’ve been on a bike. I have allowed my pride to get in the way thinking that I might fall off and people might laugh at me. By the same token there have been many times in the past when I have wanted to share something about my faith or do something to be an example of God working and I have held back, scared of what people might think.

I shared this with Kevin and he said, “No more Margo, Spirit is calling you to more. You cannot be afraid anymore. He needs you to do His work.” At that point I spoke my other prayer requests which were for my children, and then Kevin prayed earnestly over me. I became aware of intense heat surrounding me, I felt a quiver go through my body, and the next thing I remember I “woke up” lying on the floor in front of the altar of the church and I knew Spirit had been with me.

Little did I know at that time that this phrase, you are being called to more, was going to be repeated to me two more times in the next few weeks. And this by two widely disparate people in totally different locations and circumstances, who were not in the least bit connected to Kevin or any form of Healing Prayer Ministry. But that will be for two more separate postings.

Today, I share this posting from Brainerd, MN. We arrived here yesterday at about 4.30pm after another day of beautiful riding.

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Shared Wisdom: There’s Always More

Margo — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 13:40:16 +0000

You all know that I love words. I am so grateful to the many people who have gone before me and shared their words of wisdom. I am so grateful that there continues to be a steady stream of wise and intelligent beings who share their thoughts on life and their personal life experiences. Here are a few that I choose to share with you today.

- “Feeling healthy and feeling good about yourself is not a luxury – it’s an absolute necessity.” (Anonymous)

- “I do not pray that you may be delivered from your pains, but I pray earnestly to God that He would give you strength and patience to bear them as long as
pleases.” (from “Safely Through The Storm)

- “May your footsteps set you upon a lifetime journey of love. May you wake each day with His blessings and sleep each night in His keeping. And may you
always walk in His tender care.” (Anonymous)

- “In those times I cant seem to find God, I rest in the assurance He knows how to find me.” (Neva Coyle)

- “God walks with us …….. He scoops us up in His arms or simply sits with us in silent strength until we cannot avoid the awesome recognition that
yes, even now, He is there.” (Gloria Gaither)

- “To be simply surrounded by God’s love and presence is pure JOY!” (Chuck Colson)

- “Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ.” (William Van Der Holden)

- “Fear of trials often depletes more energy than facing them.” (Beth Moore)

- “If God accepts me as I am, then I’d better do the same.” (Hugh Montefiore)

- “Resolve to keep happy and your joy, and you, shall form an invincible host against any difficulty.” (Helen Keller)

And as I was writing these quotations, I realized that many of them refer to “God” and to “joy”, and I found myself thinking that those two topics are intrinsically connected for me. Greetings from the road – New Lisbon,Wisconsin to be precise!

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Musings: God and Chicken Soup

Margo — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 03:03:30 +0000

This past weekend I was involved in putting on a workshop about prayer and meditation. I’ll talk about the workshop itself in a separate posting. As well as the presentations on the topic we also provided food. We work on the premise that “if there’s food, they will come”. I knew there were plenty of veggies, chips, dips and desserts being prepared as well as a couple of platters of wraps. But only one meat dish was on the sign up list, so I decided to grab a few rotisserie chickens, pull the meat off and serve it up in small portions.

This left me with four chicken carcasses. I love homemade chicken soup, so before leaving for the workshop I dumped the bones into a large pot, filled it with water, and put it on to boil. When I came home I fired it up again, let it simmer for a bit, then turned it off to cool over night. Now I’m not sure about you all out there, but when I make chicken soup I don’t want just the broth. I want every single tiny morsel of meat that was left on the bones in my soup.

So, what better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than to scrub my hands clean then plunge them into a pot-full of cold chicken broth? I mean it’s the ultimate Sunday afternoon activity, right!! My husband thinks it’s a little crazy but he sure enjoys the soups that come out of this. However, this Sunday was a little different because as I manually sifted through the chicken bones I had a real spiritual experience. She’s flipped, you’re thinking. Totally lost it, you’re saying.

Don’t be too quick to judge and let me explain what happened. Now I’ve been through this chicken soup process many times before and never thought about God. Perhaps it was a result of the workshop the previous day that had me floating on a higher plane, on a deeper spiritual level; who knows. But as I picked up the different skeletal parts of the chicken to strip them of their tasty morsels, I became very aware of how amazingly a chicken is put together. Hundreds (at least it seemed like that many) of tiny bones all put together and connected in a specific design to create the animal that we know as a chicken.

Then I began to think about how many different animals, birds, insects, reptiles, and sea creatures inhabit our planet earth. Having watched many different animal documentaries and always being so totally surprised by the number of different animals there are, I surmise there must be millions of different species all over the globe. As I thought about that, I began to let my mind wander in this zoo that I had conjured up in my mind and saw all the different shapes and sizes of the various creatures therein, and I imagined all the different skeletal designs that each one had.

It occurred to me in that moment how marvelous and how rich was the diversity of life on this planet. It also became very clear to me in that moment that even if I didn’t have a religious experience in my life, no way could I believe that all this richness, all this diversity, just created itself out of nothing or came from some “big bang”. Some incredibly awesome, powerfully intellectual-beyond-belief Creator had to have masterminded all these different creatures.

My mind was totally boggled for quite a while as I continued to sift and separate bones from meat, from fat, from grizzle, from tendons. It’s in moments like this that I get quite “right sized”. I realize in the same moment how insignificant I am in the bigger scheme of things and yet how important I am. I must be important if this Creator, in the middle of creating this planet with all its life forms as well as the universe with its billions of stars and planets and who knows what else, had the time to think me, to love me into existence with my own unique skeletal design.

In the same instant it is both a wildly happy thought and a wildly terrifying thought because it is really quite unfathomable to the human mind. So I think, and this is just my take on this, that all those grand intellectuals who claim the non-existence of a God, a Supreme Creator, are probably too terrified by the thought of such an all-powerful being to admit He/She/It may be there. I would not like to be on their deathbeds.

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Vignettes: Dad And Son In The Labyrinth

Margo — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 02:05:06 +0000

I know I have already done a posting about my last experience with the labyrinth in St. Augustine. However, I feel called to write another posting because I keep thinking about two of the people who went in to do the walk. I mentioned in my previous posting, Self Nurturing- Enjoying the Labyrinth at the Beach, that there were many children who playfully walked, ran, and skipped through the labyrinth leaving their unique brand of energy present. Well, one little boy took, maybe I should say “enticed” his Dad in with him.

I remember looking up as they both approached the labyrinth. The Dad was a little hesitant, hung back and tried to look somewhat indifferent, as though he wasn’t really interested in the labyrinth. The son was having none of that. He was curious and wanted to take a good look. He realized almost immediately that this was something to be experienced. He saw a pathway opening up and wanted to explore.

He took a bold step into the labyrinth and then stopped, remembering Dad, turned to look at him and said “come on Dad, let’s do it”. Dad looked around, as if checking out who was watching, then tentatively stepped inside. The little boy needed no further encouragement. Off he went on his adventure. He was very focused and determined, staying within the confines of the narrow pathway. Dad was a little different. He kept looking around, obviously embarrassed, probably hoping that nobody who knew him was going to happen by.

If you know what a labyrinth is like you will understand that as you enter you are on a circular pathway that is about the third circle inside the whole design. As you walk, the circles turn on each other. This can lead to the illusion that you are about to get to the center and then, suddenly, you find yourself walking the very outer circle.

So the little boy got to an about-turn which he thought was going to turn him in towards the center, but instead it turned him out to the edge of the labyrinth. For a moment he was confused, and called out to His Dad for help. The father said, “just keep following the path son”, and trustingly the little boy did so. I had noticed that by now Dad had lost his self-consciousness and was just as focused as his son. The two continued, intent upon their journey, the little boy about half a circle ahead of the Father.

Then, in a sudden moment, the boy found himself inside the center of the labyrinth. He stood their looking pleased with himself and looking all around himself at the road he had travelled. A few moments later his Dad arrived in the center. Without a word, the little boy held out his hand and a big grin spread across his face. They stood together for a while, Dad and son, holding hands and looking out to sea. It was a God-moment. Who knows what thoughts each one held in his heart.

The boy looked up into his father’s face, then gently slipped his hand out from his father’s and, in just as focused a fashion as on the way in, he started the journey out. Dad stood there for a moment more watching his little one strike out on his own before heading out behind him.

I found myself thinking this is what parenthood is about. We hold our children’s hands for as long as we can. Then comes the day when they choose a path. We follow at a distance for a while, close enough that they know they can call on us for help, but not so close that we crowd them. But they have to make the journey of life on their own. If we’re lucky, they sometimes look back and smile and wave and may even occasionally come and hold our hands again for a while.

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The Garden: Hummingbird Haven

Margo — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:05:30 +0000

I created my garden to be a place of joy and happiness. Somewhere that I could retreat to and rest. A sanctuary away from the chaos that is the world outside. I created it to be full of God’s natural beauty with flowers and plants and small items of garden art.

I have worked hard to make this creation but it is work that I enjoy and find to be very therapeutic. Gardening is good physical exercise and therefore is a great workout for my body. It is also wonderful spiritual exercise because I usually combine plenty of prayer work as I dig, plant, prune, and weed. So the garden offers me the chance to nurture myself on the physical as well as the spiritual level.

For me there is nothing like being close to God’s creation to fill the heart with happiness and the soul with joy. Watching green shoots emerge from seeds sown several weeks earlier is like having access to my own personal miracle show! And when the plants grow and flowers bloom, filling the garden with perfume and color, I experience a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment like no other.

However, what I did not plan or expect was the incredible daily show that the hummingbirds put on for us. In past years I have certainly been aware of the presence of hummingbirds in my garden. But this year has been an amazing experience. It is almost as though they have made my backyard their official playground.

I have a wonderful plant, which I know as Orange Trumpet Vine, that grows along much of the border fence in the back yard. It also grows up and around the mailbox out front, and climbs up one of the columns on the front porch, trailing over towards the other column about six yards away.

When I made the major renovation to the garden this spring, I “transplanted” the trellis archway from the back yard and made it the focal point of the newly enlarged front flower bed. With the help of my friend Linda I managed to transplant the original Orange Trumpet Vine (I grew it from seeds from the island of Ischia in Italy) that grew all over the archway. Thankfully it tolerated the move well and is now healthily flourishing in its place of pride out front.

The hummingbirds love the nectar in the glorious globes of trumpet blooms that hang richly from the Vine, and so I have always seen them in the summer gorging on their sweet treat. But I also put a new hummingbird feeder out back and would see them from time to time there. I moved this feeder a couple of weeks ago and had my husband hang it on the back wall of the house fairly near the window near my desk computer.

I noticed immediately that there was great activity at the feeder on a very frequent basis during the course of the day. Richard and I also realized that the birds seemed totally unfazed by us being on the other side of the glass and he was able to get some great video and photos of them.

Then it occurred to us that we were hidden from them because Richard had applied a mylar screen to the windows to cut down on heat in our office. So we began to spend quite a bit of time at the window watching these amazing creatures really “up-close-and-personal”. They are nothing less than miracles.

Over the last few days we have keenly observed them. Several times we have noted there were about seven or eight of them zooming in and out of the garden, up into the trees of the pine wood behind our house, then swooping down to “dive-bomb” each other off the feeder. This evening in particular we watched them as we ate dinner in the lanai and noticed some very interesting behavior.

One hummingbird would zoom down, seeming to go the feeder. But she would pull up short and just hover there as though suspended from an invisible thread – a minute angel-like figure with wings spread, beating furiously. Then a second bird would swoop in and hover about a yard above the first. And they would both just hang there, in space before suddenly zooming off up into the trees.

A little later another couple came buzzing across the yard like two F-16’s on a training flight. They twisted and turned, mirroring each others movements until suddenly one turned to face the other in mid-flight and they seemed to do a short dance in mid-air. I am not sure if all this activity is part of mating behavior or if they are just being naturally playful.

Whatever the reason, Richard and I are thoroughly entertained. These delightful creatures are truly amazing to watch. This evening among the many we were treated to the company of a handsome male. As he moved around his ruby-red throat coloring was quite spectacular. I am very happy that my garden has become Hummingbird Haven.

Check out these HD videos of the hummingbirds feeding.

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Musings: Living Life (Lost Treasures)

Margo — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:41:59 +0000

Today I was clearing out the small cabinet and drawer in my computer desk (a job long overdue!), and I came across some old files. All of you pack-rats out there will relate when I tell you there were all kinds of things stuffed in the files. Much of it needed to be purged but, as often happens with me, I found some real treasures.

Among the papers, many of them somewhat yellowed from age, I found several quotations that I had written down and saved. The two that I will share with you today talk about the same thing, living life, each one in a slightly different style. The first one has a name attached to it, while the second is anonymous.

“You, with all your flaws, have been chosen for this opportunity to consciously taste life, to know it for what it is, and to make of it what you are able. This gift of a conscious life is grace, even when your life is filled with great difficulty and it may not feel like a gift at the time.”

Phillip Moffitt

Actually this quotation was also accompanied by another quotation that I had written further down the page, still by Phillip Moffitt and still about life.

“Your life, with its unique pains and joys, can only be reconciled in your surrender to the truth of your experiences as they arise one moment after another, never fixed, always moving.”

What really stands out for me in these few lines is the invitation to live life in the moment, to be fully present to everyone and everything that you meet on your path. It also reminds us that life “ain’t just a bed of roses”. Actually the roses are there in abundance but to appreciate them fully we have to accept that they have thorns and are sometimes surrounded by weeds. And I am reminded, again, of my friend Tish’s favorite saying: “it is what it is”.

The anonymous quotation that I found among my pack-rat treasures is almost an admonition or an instruction on what we have to do to live life fully.

“It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price ………. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms ……….one has to embrace the world like a lover……….one has to accept pain as a condition of existence……one has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing…….one needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.”

Anonymous/unknown

I have certainly had my share of pains and difficulties, many self inflicted directly or indirectly. But I have also had a great share of joys and happiness. In my own experience the joys and the happiness have multiplied a thousand fold since I have given up the pursuit of me-me-me-ism and have focused more fully on my relationship to and with the God of my understanding. Which reminds me of the quotation by Paul Ferrini that I cited just over a week ago in Shared Wisdom- Words Both Past & Present.

Certainly I have learned as I live my life that I have to approach each day, sometimes each breath, with as large a measure of humility as courage. Oh, I could choose to bulldoze my way through situations and over people the way I used to. But I prefer the peace of mind that I have today by showing compassion towards everyone I meet. We are all on our own journey and some of us have chosen very difficult paths.

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Self Nurturing: Creative Surroundings

Margo — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:29:24 +0000

I have already mentioned in another posting, Self Nurturing- GrillSmith Of Tampa, FL, that I really appreciate good food. I think the preparation of food is an art of its own. Good cooking is definitely a God-given talent. The skillful combination of the flavors, the colors, and the textures of different kinds of food along with the pleasing presentation to the client is as creative as painting a picture. So just imagine blending these two creative arts together!

In the past couple of months I’ve established a new routine for myself that brings me much joy. On the first Sunday of each month I go to St. Augustine, Florida to walk and meditate in the labyrinth that my friend Lorelei creates in the wet sand at low tide. It is a wonderful time of going inwards to my God-centered self. I shared that experience in a previous posting, Labyrinth Meditation At The Beach. What I didn’t mention in that posting is what I do before I get to the labyrinth.

Part of this new routine includes a stop at another location in St. Augustine to have brunch. It’s a restaurant called Zhanra’s which is just across the Bridge of Lions on Anastasia Island. Richard and I tried Zhanra’s about a year ago when we went to see Michael W. Smith and Steven Curtis Chapman in concert at the St. Augustine Amphitheater. We had an excellent dinner and were very impressed by the menu choices, the presentation, and the good and friendly service. The prices were very reasonable too.

The restaurant itself is very welcoming and warm. The decor does not follow the usual pattern or design of most of the “chain” restaurants. It is very simple and unique. When you walk in there is a long serving counter on the wall immediately opposite the front door. To the right there is a very accommodating bar that has tall tables and stools where you can also dine, while to the left is the main dining area.

But what adds to the decor and makes Zhanra’s so special is the art work on the walls. It is bright and beautiful and very eclectic and showcases a great variety of artist’s work. These paintings are up for sale, so while you are eating you can also appreciate and even acquire a great piece of art. Because the art is sold, or because the artists choose to rotate their work out from time to time, new pieces appear from one visit to another.

An interesting feature connected to the art work is found in a corner of the main dining room. A small working space is set up and I believe that some of the artists come in from time to time to work on a piece while the diners are enjoying their meal.

When Richard and I made our first visit to Zhanra’s we knew we would be back again because it was very good and because it was different. So when we learned that they offered a Sunday brunch from 10am to 2pm we chose to make it a stop on one of our Harley rides. And we were hooked! We have been back twice as a couple and I have returned twice with friends and yet another time we both went back with a small group.

So let me walk you through the brunch process. You are seated by the host/hostess and a server takes your drink order immediately. Large and small plates are provided on the table and you can go to the buffet freely. However, we always wait so that we can put in our order with our server for waffles or French toast. I have never eaten the waffles because I am so addicted to their French toast which is, in my opinion, food of the gods!!

The long serving counter that I mentioned in a previous paragraph is laden down with all things scrumptious for the brunch. There is a chef at one end who will cook omelets to your specifications. As you proceed along the counter there are hot containers with quiche, grits, scrambled eggs, apple smoked bacon and sausages (my personal favorite!), fresh melt-in-your-mouth biscuits and gravy, and the best home-fried potatoes I have ever tasted. And just in case you need to start your brunch with a soup there are two offered, one of which is usually a great gumbo.

But it doesn’t stop there! As you turn the corner of the buffet counter there are several large trays. One is piled high with a mountain of freshly cut fruit in season. Another contains pre-cut bagels of every description, and beside that there is a tray full of different Danish pastries cut up into bite size chunks so that you can try the different types. Yet one more container holds muffins just to round out your choices.

All this for the princely sum of $9.99 plus drink. It has to be the best value and one of the best dining and creative art experiences that I have ever enjoyed. By the way, I forgot to mention that the art exhibits continue on into the bathrooms and Zhanra’s offers another creative art form too. Most nights there is different live music to enjoy. So go and satisfy the artist in your soul. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.

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Musings: Friendship

Margo — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:22:46 +0000

What a joy true friendship is. I’m talking about the kind of friendship that is born in honest and open sharing from the soul, from the gut, from the heart, and from the mind. Friendship that allows two people to live hundreds of miles apart from each other and yet always feel very closely connected.

I am presently visiting with one of those friends. We last saw each other two years ago when she and her daughter passed through town and spent the night. Before that, we last saw each other when my daughter and I passed through town and spent a night with her back in June of 2004. Our previous connection had been in Naples, Italy where we met and developed our friendship over a period of a couple of years.

When we reconnect it is as though we have not been apart. We seamlessly pick up the loose ends of our relationship as though we had met for coffee just last week. There is a comfort and a power in this kind of friendship. There is no need to waste time in explanations. We look into each other’s eyes and we know where we’re at.

As we wrap our arms around each other in those first few moments of greeting, it’s like taking a warm, well-worn comforter off the back of the couch and pulling it snugly around our shoulders. Or perhaps like pulling that favorite old sweater out and pulling it on. It’s like sitting down with a cup of hot tea or coffee in front of a welcoming fire.

In friendships such as this we find strength and comfort to help us through those hard trials in life. We know that we can surrender and lean in without being judged or criticized. We can laugh together, cry together, pray together, and sit in silence together respecting each other’s presence.

I was truly not sure what prompted me to make this visit at this particular time. I arrived here late on Sunday afternoon after a seven hour drive. By bedtime, around eleven o’clock, we had talked ourselves tired! We had shared the rich and intimate details of “where we were at” as well as a wonderful home-cooked meal. The years of ups and downs, of joys and sorrows, of hopes and dreams – achieved and dashed – lay on the coffee table between us and spilled out across the carpet. We could see and feel the growth that had come to each of us through those experiences.

Monday dawned bright with sunshine and sparkling blue skies. I came downstairs full of sleep and found a note on the counter and coffee ready to go:-). She had gone to work for a few hours but was home by early afternoon. She found me sprawled on the deck of the pool soaking up some summer rays. She laughed delightedly at the picture I presented, content that I was so enjoying her beautiful home.

We spent the afternoon talking some more, getting into those kinds of details and clarifications that only women seem capable of seeking in their deep friendships. She is dealing with marital issues and so it is good to be there for her, to just listen and love her. It was an afternoon of joy and laughter and, yes, a few tears. We jumped in the pool a couple of times to refresh and restore not only our bodies but also our spirits.

Another wonderful meal later and still more talking. It’s as though we know we have this short time together and we need to get as much heart-to-heart in as we can. I introduced her to my web page and left her to read as I spent some time checking through her portfolio. She is an amazing interior decorator and creates incredible artistic finishes, including original murals, faux finishes, and awesome wall and cabinet textures in peoples’ homes.

And then the bomb drops. An email that shatters her heart. And in one instant I understand why I am there at this given time in her life. I can be sounding board and shoulder to cry on. I can offer support and some calming objectivity in the midst of chronic heartache. I can be the arms of God holding her as she cries. I can move in close and also give her space. I am friend.

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Musings: The Muse Is Back

Margo — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:56:30 +0000

I’m never quite sure what happens to me when my normal routine is disrupted. All I know is that it seems to take me forever to re-find myself, to get back into my everyday patterns and the activities that I love doing. Sometimes the disruption is a “going away” thing; a trip, a vacation, a retreat. Sometimes the disruption is caused internally; an emotional hiccup, a hormonal hill, an unexpected trauma. The journey back is more difficult when the disruption is a “double-whammy” – a trip AND an internal shift.

Last weekend Richard and I took a trip. We mounted our much-loved Harley and hit the road. First stop was Orlando where we spent the night and participated in Night of Joy at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. (That experience will be a posting of its own.) We had a great ride and even though we encountered some of the usual backed-up traffic on I-4, we arrived safely.

On Saturday morning we slept in a little after our late night at the concerts and, after breakfast, we got back on Harley fully kitted out in our rain gear. There was a steady drizzle of rain which wasn’t too bad, but the closer we got to Tampa the harder it came down. We were glad to reach our destination – the lovely luxurious Westin on the Causeway – change into dry clothes, order up some room service, and just relax. Later in the evening we took a cab to Mass at Christ the King church, then crossed the road to eat at GrillSmith on South Dale Mabry Hwy. (Another separate posting on this experience!)

On Sunday morning we prepared for the other highlight of this trip: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers game against the Dallas Cowboys. Richard and I are die-hard Cowboys’ fans and this was a great game to be able to travel to. The weather was reasonable even though showers were promised. We had our rain ponchos and what’s a bit of water if you can get to see the “Boys”!! (The game will be another posting!)

We happily prepared for our trip home (the “Boys” won after an exciting game that could have gone in either direction until the fourth quarter). Apart from a short we-are-lost detour at the beginning of the trip (unfamiliar city roads and road construction!), and a small shower closer to home, we had another great ride and arrived home safely at about 10pm.

Now that was a fabulous weekend; no hiccups, no problems, and a very happy ending. It just carried a simple “disruption” tag to my usual routine. So why on earth did I wake up on Monday morning feeling like I was sliding down some treacherous slippery hill of grayness? I guess if I could answer that question, and especially if I could offer a solution, I could get very rich very easily!

Thank God that I have done a lot of personal growth and spiritual growth work over the last thirty years. At least this puts me in a position to be able to actually recognize that I was on this slippery slope. It allows me to know myself enough that I am aware that geographical and time disruptions to my routine affect me in ways that perhaps other people do not experience. I am also willing to put a name to that slippery slope, that most people avoid because they feel it carries too much stigma: depression.

I feel blessed that I have built a support system of incredible friends and that I know to reach out no matter how small the hiccup or hill may seem. I do not want my hills to grow into menacing mountains that I cannot surmount. I also feel blessed and grateful that the depression that I suffer from occasionally is not acute and does not require medication. I also recognize that if I did not have the self awareness that I have worked so hard to achieve, and if I were not willing to take action and ask for support and help, I could easily spiral into deeper depression.

Many people out there, especially those in the male category, refuse to even consider that they may be depressed. I think it is time to concede that as human beings, with all the in-built emotions and hormones (yes, you guys have crazy hormones too!!) and all the external stress that we deal with on a daily basis, it is normal for us to have “ups and downs”. In our “ups” we are high on happiness and excitement. In our “downs” our happiness is pushed down, de-pressed.

Sometimes it requires nothing spectacular to de-press our feelings. It can be something as simple as the end of a special occasion (a trip, a celebration) or even a split second thought or memory that triggers a series of other thoughts that take us down. And sometimes all or any of this can take place on such a subconscious level that we cannot put our finger on what is causing our “down”, our de-pression.

So on Monday my plan had been to get up and immediately hit the computer and share all the wonderful experiences of the weekend and whatever else the Muse presented. But somewhere on that slippery slope Muse had jumped off the wagon and I was left with “gray”. Plan of action: pray, call a friend, go meet with some people who didn’t think I was crazy and who understood exactly what I was going through.

And that is how I am very blessed. I have gathered around me people who are available to me, who care about me enough to give me their time and their invaluable friendship, who are willing to listen, to share their own experience in similar circumstances. With their help, it has taken me four days to fully come back up and feel normally enthusiastic about each day.

I have been patient and gentle with myself. I have not “self-bashed” myself because I haven’t written anything since Saturday. I have allowed myself to be “lazy” and focused on doing just the absolute essentials on my schedule. And lo! the Muse is back. More postings to follow!!!!

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