Life Coach: Spirit, Body and Mind » courage

Shared Wisdom: More Words On The Path

Margo — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 02:27:57 +0000

Often times the words of wisdom that I share have come from many places in time along my path. These few that I share today have come to me in more recent times. They have nurtured me on my spiritual path.

“I turn to God not so much for forgiveness but for the power to accept humbly the reality about my imperfect self. I turn to Him for the grace to give myself the forgiveness which He gives freely.” from Happy Catholic

“Clear boundaries are important on the spiritual path because they tell you exactly where your responsibility begins and where it ends.”
Paul Ferrini

“Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.” St. Francis de Sales

“Moments of grace are transient – will we meet this moment and be ready to serve.” and “We are being called into the holiness of wholeness.”
J. Phillip Newall

“Be one to know God. The extent to which I am divided from you, I am divided from God.” Meister Eckhart

“May you always be overwhelmed by the grace of God rather than by the cares of life.” Anonymous

“I speak to you continually. My nature is to communicate, though not always in words. I fling glorious sunsets across the sky, day after day. I speak in the faces and voices of loved ones. I caress you with a gentle breeze that refreshes and delight you. I speak softly in the depths of your spirit, where I have taken up residence.” from “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young

“God comes to you disguised as your life.” from Center for Action and Contemplation

“We are not simply made by God, we are made of God – as is everything.” Julian of Norwich

“Once you find the light, no matter how insignificant it seems, your life will never be the same again.
A light-bearer never questions the light s/he carries. And so s/he can offer it to others patiently and without fear.”
Paul Ferrini

I love finding these words and phrases that resonate so deeply within me, and I love being able to share them out with you. Blessings!!

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Shared Wisdom: Words For The New Year

Margo — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 17:34:00 +0000

Christmas and the New Year is always a time when I find myself digging through “old stuff”. This is partly because, as I acquire various gifts for people throughout the year, I put them in “special places” which I then forget about. Therefore I have to search high and low for them, which leads me to look in places that I don’t check into normally. And so top shelves and boxes and bottom drawers yield a treasure trove of gifts, new gems, words that I have squirrelled away that now come to light to be shared with others. Enjoy!

“When working with others, leave the results to God.” (Anonymous)

“What makes us special is the signature of God on our lives.” (Max Lucado)

“To expect life to be tailored to our specifications is to invite frustration.” (Anonymous)

“Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.” (Erica Jong)

“Fatherly and motherly hearts often beat wise and warm in the breasts of bachelor uncles and maiden aunts; and it is my private opinion that these worthy
creatures are a beautiful provision of nature for the cherishing of other people’s children.” (Louisa Mae Alcott)

“Contentment is the philosopher’s stone, which turns all it touches into gold; the poor man is rich with it, the rich man poor without it.” (Proverb)

“Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulders; but cheerful folks manage
to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night.” (Marion Howard)

“The longer I live the more I am convinced that the one thing worth living for and dying for is the privilege of making someone more happy and more
useful. No man who ever does anything to lift his fellows ever makes a sacrifice.” (Booker T. Washington)

“Grant to me that I may be made beautiful in my soul within, and that all external possessions be in harmony with my inner man. May I consider the wise man
rich, and may I have such wealth as only the self-restrained man can bear or endure.” (Prayer of Socrates)

“I’ve learned to hold everything loosely because it hurts when God pries my fingers from it.” (Corrie ten Boom)

“The burden of suffering seems to be a tombstone hung around our necks. Yet in reality it is simply the weight necessary to hold the diver down while
he is searching for pearls.” (Julius Richter)

And this last one is truly one to ponder on:

“Never underestimate yourself or what God can do in your life because remember, professionals built the Titanic, but amateurs built the ark!”
(Anonymous)

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Spirituality: More about Prayer

Margo — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 03:50:01 +0000

It seems as though Spirit is nudging me along this prayer path. I think I pray quite a lot. However, in preparation for this upcoming “instructional weekend” in the Audire program that I am participating in, I was asked to prepare a “prayer history”. One of the questions that we were offered to use for reflective journaling on this activity asked, “How do you pray now? When? Where? What posture? Why?”

As I gave some serious thought to this, I came to the conclusion that maybe I didn’t pray as much as I thought. Initially I said I prayed on and off all day, that I hold a running conversation with God as I go about my daily business –which I do. However, what I really do is invite God along in my day and then I give Him a running commentary on things as they unfold. (As if He didn’t know already!!)

Sometimes, if I am dealing with some difficult stuff, I lay it all out before Him and then ask for support, comfort, courage, or maybe a solution. Other times I may have enjoyed a couple of hours with some girlfriends, and so I thank Him for the gift of friends and for the enjoyable time spent with them. Part of my volunteer work is to help in the Ministry of Consolation at my church,so frequently I am interceding on behalf of the family which is dealing with grief. And I realize that all of this is prayer of a sort, but it’s kind of “muddied up” in the middle of all my daily busyness.

I do carve out about an hour and a half in the morning when I get up and this I spend in quiet time with my Creator. On the odd occasion that I choose to rush into my day without spending time with God first, my day usually spirals downward until I slow down and catch up with Him. Then there are those times when I bring myself to a screeching halt in a mad chaotic day and I find somewhere quiet and private (sometimes that’s the bathroom!), and I say a formal prayer like the Our Father or the Serenity Prayer or the Prayer of St. Francis. Just focusing on the old familiar words, rather like a ritual, slows me down and helps me feel closer to my God and, consequently, calmer.

So here I am preparing for this weekend, the theme for which is Pray Always, Pray All Ways, and I find myself thinking deeply about how I pray, which is good because sometimes we have to shake things up a little, change things, or else it all becomes too routine. So here I share with you a prayer that we were asked to write. It is a berakah, which comes from the Judaic tradition. It means a “blessing prayer” and is based on this format: Who (are you praying to); Do (what has He done for you); You (what do you need from Him right now); Through (Jesus Christ).

Abba, Creator and Spirit of Love, who gave me the greatest gift of Your Son, Jesus, I am full of gratitude for all the blessings You have given me. You saved me from self destruction and led me back to You, filling my life with joy. Please continue to bless, protect, and grow me and lead me on the path You wish me to tread. I ask the same for my family, especially Melissa. All this I dare to ask through Your love, that is Jesus Christ. Amen!

As we are coming up to Thanksgiving, I would also like to offer you this beautiful prayer that I came across the other day.

Oh God, when I have food,
help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work, help me
to remember the jobless;
When I have a warm home,
help me to remember the homeless;
When I am without pain,
help me to remember those who suffer;
And remembering, help me
to destroy my complacency
and bestir my compassion.
Make me concerned enough
to help, by word and deed,
those who cry out
for what we take for granted.

Samuel F. Pugh

Blessings to you all.

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Journaling: A Way To Heal

Margo — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:04:17 +0000

I have been “off the grid” for a couple of weeks. This does not mean I have not been writing. The fact of the matter is that I have been writing a lot, just not publicly. Normally, I am a very “open” person. Those of you who read my postings regularly know that I share quite freely about my emotions and the circumstances and events that take place in my life.

However, there are some things that come along that I need to deal with on a more private level. I have several networks of friends whom I can turn to on occasions such as these. I also have my intimate relationship with the God of my understanding and even when friends are not available, He is always ready to help me bear my burdens. And, of course, I have my best friend, my husband.

But, perhaps because of my deep connection to the written word, I also use the tool of writing to help me in such times. I find that journaling about a problem or an issue helps me to put things into perspective a little easier. And just the fact that words appear on paper is already a balm to my troubled spirit.

When I journal I always use pen and paper rather than the computer. I love the old-fashioned way of expressing my thoughts by manually writing them out. There’s something more personal, more intimate, about hand-writing. And, of course, it’s my handwriting, which brings the subject matter even closer to home.

So when I am heart-burdened, writing out the problem, the pain, the confusion, in long-hand is very therapeutic. I can sometimes find the courage to put some words down on paper that I might not be able to express verbally. And even though it’s subjective, there is also that sense of it being someone else’s problem. In fact, sometimes I write in the third person singular, as though I were writing about another person.

Journaling my sorrow allows me to get what’s inside, outside. It is yet another way to nurture myself. I refuse to be bogged down by pain, and I surely do not want the pain to fester into anything like resentment or anger!! Those are two cancers of the soul that I will not allow to hang around.

And so my pen travels across the pages of my journal, and as it leaves its inky trail my heart lightens and everything seems more bearable. I always have a handful of pretty journals on hand for such writing. Wrapping those dark feelings between two beautifully designed covers somehow lessens their hold on my heart and turns my journaling into another level of spiritual growth.

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Musings: The Discomfort of Personal Growth

Margo — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 16:49:58 +0000

I actually started writing the following three paragraphs in the middle of the last posting that I wrote. However, I quickly realized that they did not belong there so, rather than delete them, I saved them as a draft. I figured that if the words had manifest themselves on the page they were important to come back to. Here are the three paragraphs as I wrote them.

As I have been sitting here, stopping from time time to just breath in deeply, I have been checking the news on my info page. I guess the biggest item that has rocked the world in different ways is still the news coming out of Haiti. I have followed this story, as I’m sure many millions of other people have, and have come to realize how difficult it is to take in the reality of such a situation.

No matter how many photos they print, and there have been hundreds, even though they depict the grim reality of the circumstances it is hard to make it a reality in my own life. Story after story carries an underlying sadness, pain, and desperation. It is heartbreaking to think of the level of suffering and helplessness that overwhelms the surviving Haitian population in the aftermath of the earthquake.

Yet even as I understand the meaning behind the words in these stories, and even as I can see clearly what is depicted in all the photos, there is a part of me that is unable to truly comprehend the magnitude of this tragedy. I went through something similar after the tsunami out in Thailand and Indonesia at Christmas a couple of years ago.

So now I will try to pick up the thread of my thought process a week after writing this. As I said, at the time I was sitting outside in my lanai on the first really warm day after much freezing cold weather had not allowed me to take my lap-top outside and work. I have just reread the three paragraphs and remember now sitting out there in the warmth and sunshine, catching up on world-wide news and feeling so strangely detached from the horrors taking place in Haiti.

I am not sure why this is so. I try to practice compassion in a very real way on a daily basis. I am a Christian person who “loves his neighbor”. I am also an intelligent person, so it’s not that I don’t have the brains or the smarts to grasp what is going on over there in Haiti. Neither am I afflicted by learning disabilities that slow my thought processes or skew them somehow.

I have read on numerous occasions that we, the human race, have been so saturated with violence in today’s world that events such as those taking place in Haiti don’t reach down into our hearts, our guts, or they only get halfway there. Modern media thinks nothing of throwing blood, gore, and downright evil at us in the name of “action movies” and the like, and as a result we become inured to the real life stuff.

As I said above, I see the pictures, I read the stories, the facts, but I have a hard time bringing it all into my own perception of reality. I’m not sure where I want to go with all this, or if I need to go anywhere in particular. Of one thing I am sure, the words presented themselves on the page out of my mind so they must have some specific significance.

I know that I do not feel very happy or comfortable about this posting. It has come out in fits and starts, between one interruption and another. Half way through I found myself thinking, “maybe I should just delete it and start a totally new posting”. But there is a part of me that knows the words need to stay on the page.

Perhaps the discomfort that I am feeling is because this article makes me look at a part of me that is not so nice. That part that wants me to just stay in my comfort zone and get on with my ordinary life. After all, don’t I deal with enough of my own pain without taking on the pain of others? But I know that I cannot do that. If I do, I will experience even more discomfort.

So the words stay, the article stands as is, and I battle on through the stuff that maybe I would prefer to ignore. I ask God to help me find the growth that this is leading me to. Hopefully there will be a quantum leap in my spiritual growth, in my prayer practice. Maybe a little more honesty, another small slice of humility, and just a smidgen more courage to keep me on track.

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Shared Wisdom: My Friend Max

Margo — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:29:47 +0000

If you follow my postings you already know about my “love affair” with Max Lucado. In my opinion, no other modern day spiritual writer touches on the affairs of the soul in such a compassionate and human manner. His words reach into my heart like the comforting embrace of a friend. So I was overjoyed to receive a copy of his Grace For The Moment – 365-Day Journaling Devotional from my husband for Christmas.

In the front of this book, as part of the introductory section, are four pages of writing with which I was already familiar from a previous book. They are what I refer to as “The Choice” pages and whenever I need some extra grounding in my day I go to them and take a few minutes to read them. I would like to share these daily choices which, as Max Lucado explains, because of Calvary we are free to choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE…..
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love. Today I will love God, and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY…..
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical ….. the tool of the lazy thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE…..
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE…..
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS…..
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS…..
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…..
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…..
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL…..
I am a spiritual being…… After this Body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control. To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on His pillow and rest.

Max Lucado
When God Whispers Your Name

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Spiritual Growth: More Prayer Power

Margo — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:53:19 +0000

I have focused on prayer in several of my postings: Prayer- A Tool Of Spirituality; Spirituality & Shared Wisdom- Tough Times And Prayer; Sacred Riding- My Harley Prayer Time; Spiritual Growth- Personal Prayers. I have also mentioned prayer many times in other postings which relate to different subject matter. This is probably because prayer is such an important part of my spiritual life.

When I think about it, prayer makes up the greater part of my day. Now don’t start thinking I’m some pious freak who spends all day in church. Not so. But prayer has become an integral part of everything that I do throughout my days. You see prayer for me does not have to be always in a formal “religious” or church setting.

As I go about my daily activities I have a conscious contact with my Creator, whether I am making beds, doing the laundry, or cooking the next meal. I will either be thanking Him for blessings received (or those yet to come), or praising Him for the glory of his creation, or making intercessions on behalf of people who have asked for prayers.

Sometimes I will be letting Him know about a resentment I may be struggling with, and at other times I let Him know how angry or upset I am about a particular situation. And then again, I may be telling Him that I am tired and wished I had a wife to make the beds, to do the laundry, and to cook those meals!!!

I try to remember every day to invite God into my day with me. When I get into the car I pat the passenger seat and ask him to ride along with me. I usually tell him what I think about some of the other drivers on the road and ask Him to keep me safe! Wherever I go, whatever I may be doing, I have my conversation with God. I totally trust that He is there 24/7 for me.

The other day during a purge of some old files, I came across this exquisite prayer that I would like to share with you.

THANK YOU

How wondrous are Your ways, God. How wondrous are Your ways. It is you I see in the beauty of the trees and the loveliness of the flowers. It is You I feel in the stillness of the mountains and the grandeur of the seas. When I gaze into the eyes of those around me, You are there. When I look into a mirror, it is You I am looking at – and You I am looking with!

In my times of highest joy and most contentment, there You are. In my times of lowest despair and disappointment, I find You still. Thank You, God, for Your faithfulness even when I was not aware.

Your love expressing through me is as gentle as the baby lamb – unafraid, tender, pure. It reaches out to bless the lives of those in my world.

Your power and strength expressing through me are as mighty and unyielding as the crashing waves and giant redwoods. They give me courage to do what I must do and to help those I must help.

Your peace expressing through me is as deep and comforting as a thousand lullabies. It soothes my pains and brings me the peace that allows me to bring serenity to others in my life. Thank You, God for creating me and using me to express more of Yourself in all ways.

May my mouth ever utter only kind words. May my eyes ever see only beauty. May my ears ever hear only the sweet sounds of life. May my heart ever harbour only compassion and love, for these are Your ways. Thank You for my growing awareness of You – for the knowing deep within my soul that You are all.

How wondrous are Your ways, God, how wondrous are Your ways.

I have no idea where this prayer came from. It is typed on a single sheet of paper with no reference to author or date. It must be from a British source because of the spelling of the word “harbour” in the last paragraph. I guess it really doesn’t matter where it originated from. What matters is the content which I find to be utterly beautiful.

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Musings: Living Life (Lost Treasures)

Margo — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:41:59 +0000

Today I was clearing out the small cabinet and drawer in my computer desk (a job long overdue!), and I came across some old files. All of you pack-rats out there will relate when I tell you there were all kinds of things stuffed in the files. Much of it needed to be purged but, as often happens with me, I found some real treasures.

Among the papers, many of them somewhat yellowed from age, I found several quotations that I had written down and saved. The two that I will share with you today talk about the same thing, living life, each one in a slightly different style. The first one has a name attached to it, while the second is anonymous.

“You, with all your flaws, have been chosen for this opportunity to consciously taste life, to know it for what it is, and to make of it what you are able. This gift of a conscious life is grace, even when your life is filled with great difficulty and it may not feel like a gift at the time.”

Phillip Moffitt

Actually this quotation was also accompanied by another quotation that I had written further down the page, still by Phillip Moffitt and still about life.

“Your life, with its unique pains and joys, can only be reconciled in your surrender to the truth of your experiences as they arise one moment after another, never fixed, always moving.”

What really stands out for me in these few lines is the invitation to live life in the moment, to be fully present to everyone and everything that you meet on your path. It also reminds us that life “ain’t just a bed of roses”. Actually the roses are there in abundance but to appreciate them fully we have to accept that they have thorns and are sometimes surrounded by weeds. And I am reminded, again, of my friend Tish’s favorite saying: “it is what it is”.

The anonymous quotation that I found among my pack-rat treasures is almost an admonition or an instruction on what we have to do to live life fully.

“It costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price ………. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms ……….one has to embrace the world like a lover……….one has to accept pain as a condition of existence……one has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing…….one needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.”

Anonymous/unknown

I have certainly had my share of pains and difficulties, many self inflicted directly or indirectly. But I have also had a great share of joys and happiness. In my own experience the joys and the happiness have multiplied a thousand fold since I have given up the pursuit of me-me-me-ism and have focused more fully on my relationship to and with the God of my understanding. Which reminds me of the quotation by Paul Ferrini that I cited just over a week ago in Shared Wisdom- Words Both Past & Present.

Certainly I have learned as I live my life that I have to approach each day, sometimes each breath, with as large a measure of humility as courage. Oh, I could choose to bulldoze my way through situations and over people the way I used to. But I prefer the peace of mind that I have today by showing compassion towards everyone I meet. We are all on our own journey and some of us have chosen very difficult paths.

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Musings: Relationships

Margo — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:48:18 +0000

I have always loved reading. My mother called me a bookworm. I would devour books, rarely putting them down until the last letter of the last word on the last page had been savored. As a little girl I heard, then read by myself, all the childhood favorites.

I learned the nursery rhymes one by one until I new them all by heart. I remember Little Boy Blue, Baa-baa Black Sheep, Mary Mary Quite Contrary, Little Bo-Peep, Mary Had a Little Lamb, Jack Spratt, and so many others. The characters all seemed so real to me and with my vivid imagination I would charm them all to life as I lay in bed.

Then, of course, there was Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. How many nights did I fall asleep with the image of myself in one of my very ordinary little dresses being turned into a shimmering creation of gossamer silver and silk. Or seeing myself with a handsome prince (who looked suspiciously like Johnnie the boy next door!), riding off in a glimmering golden carriage into a rosy pink sunset. And those were the ideals that were cast in stone in my childhood memory banks for the future that could be mine. I would be “rescued” from whatever paltry life I was living and I would be carried off to live “happily ever after”.

The only problem with Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty is that no one wrote the sequel. So here we are left with the never-ending final scene of riding off into that proverbial sunset and being happy. We are never shown what happens when they got back to the palace. I presume that’s where they were eventually headed.

I mean, I realize that if they did live in a palace they would probably have access to a maid or two, and a cook, and a butler, and a gardener. Life wouldn’t be too shabby as they created an edict or two and smiled magnanimously at their subjects. But they’d still have to think about day-to-day living and waking up to each other everyday.

However, I have to admit, that if ever my little girl mind went further than that ride into the sunset, I always imagined Cinderella walking the corridors of her palace in different ball gowns and tiaras, and leaning out of balconies in the palace turrets as little blue birds flew down to her fingers and sang to her. I’ve no idea what the prince was up to as she floated around in her perfectly idyllic life!!

No wonder we are set up for failure in real life relationships! Given the state of today’s society full of drinking and drugs, fast paced living, crime and abuse, there probably isn’t more than a handful of healthy families in each neighborhood. Pessimistic – maybe; realistic – probably.

Let’s just go back to the sixties. Actually we need to back further still, to the time of prohibition. Everything was forbidden, especially alcohol. When that law was revoked there was a wild swing into drinking which eventually ended up in the free love and drug experimentation during the era of the hippy sixties.

Although the sixties ended and the hippies went out of style, drugs had taken a firm hold. The hippy youth of the sixties became the next generation of parents. Many of them continued to use “soft” drugs and some “not-so-soft” drugs also spilled onto the market. You don’t need to be a psychologist to realize that these people were not the best of parents and a whole generation of dysfunctional families was created.

As their children grew up and began to look for mates we had the first layer of inter-dysfunctional marriages. Many people used alcohol to chase away their demons. Others got into heavier drugs which were becoming increasingly more available. Wherever there is a new market entrepreneurial minds will flourish, and many criminal minds were savvy enough to realize that there was much money to be made with drugs.

And let’s not forget the wave of people who began to turn to prescription drugs to treat the depression and other psychological ailments that came from the pain of knowing there was something wrong but not being able to pin point or explain that wrong. Very few people could bear the stigma that was associated with going to see a psychologist or therapeutic counselor, so they used whatever was available.

“Too depressing, way too negative”, I hear you cry. “Depressingly true”, I respond. “But what has this got to do with Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty”, I hear you ask. “Everything”, I say. When there is nothing, or at least very little, left but darkness or depression we look for salvation wherever we can find it. When no decent role models are around we turn to fantasy and make believe and the realm of fairy tales and try to turn them into reality.

Is it any wonder that the explosion of New Age religions and spirituality was so enormous? By now we have generation upon generation of dysfunctional people searching for something, searching for salvation, searching for real role models. On a subconscious level people realize that there is more to life than “sex, drugs, and rock and roll”.

Thank God more and more people are reaching out for the help that they need. There is definitely a movement toward the return of old values. Many people are seeking professional help as that stigma drops away. The rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous are growing in number and in size.

Many people see that it takes courage to ask for help and are discovering that courage. Even men, the proverbial “strong, silent, macho one’s” are becoming brave enough (they always thought it was a weakness!), to approach therapists. Couples are recognizing that jumping into divorce does not remove their problems. Divorce may remove the other partner, but each partner is still left with attitudes and behaviors that they will drag into a new relationship.

So perhaps we can lay the fairy tales to rest, or at least in recounting them to our children and our grandchildren we can help them to understand that they are just that – fairy tales. Perhaps some new good authors will emerge who can write a “second level” of classical fairy tales for our children as they reach early teens. Stories that will shine a light of good healthy reality on how life can and should be lived after that ride into the sunset.

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Spirituality & Shared Wisdom: Tough Times And Prayer

Margo — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000

If you are a regular reader of my entries, you will know that I have just been through a brief (thank God) tough time. It spanned no more than two weeks and, compared to say, someone facing a cancer and chemo diagnosis, or someone involved in a long recovery from a really bad accident, it was just a blip on the horizon of life. That didn’t make going through it any easier.

Just yesterday, in the reading from one of my daily meditational books, Linda Picone wrote, “Tough times can make us stronger and wiser. Knowing this doesn’t really make tough times any easier, though – at least not while we’re going through them. But it’s worthwhile to remind ourselves often of this truth. Of course, we get stronger not simply because we go through tough times, but because we call upon our best selves to find our way through them. We draw on our humor, patience, courage, and other qualities and, in doing so, learn the power of inner resources.”

I totally agree. However, just based on my personal experience in life, I think there are two strong ingredients missing from the above recipe: prayer (which, for me anyway, indicates a turning to God, a higher Spiritual Being); and asking for help.

My dear daily companion (in book form at least!), Max Lucado, talks about habits that we should develop. He recommends four habits that are worth engaging in on a regular basis to help us grow in our spiritual life. The very first of these is prayer. I cannot agree strongly enough with this statement. Since developing my prayer habit my life has definitely changed for the better but, more importantly, I have changed for the better.

I have written a couple of blogs on the subject of prayer (Prayer: A Tool Of Spirituality and Sacred Riding: My Harley Prayer Time), but I’m sure that I could write a whole book about it and the difference that prayer has made in my life. So when I hit tough times today an instinctual reaction for me is to pray.

Even though I am fully aware of “Mr. Censor” (see my blog Musings: Life And Lemons) snarling away in the corner of my mind, “I don’t want to make lemonade!” (or pray, or help someone, etc…), prayer is my first line of defense against whatever difficulties life chooses to hurl at me. It is on these occasions that I get down on my knees physically or mentally and I ask God to help me through.

And there is that second ingredient that I referred to – asking for help. One of my biggest human deformities is pride. “Human deformities” sounds so much more intellectual and suave than “sin”, doesn’t it? (Did I mention that I suffer from pride?) However, I’ve learned not to beat myself up about this seeming lack in my otherwise perfect character (did I mention that I suffer from pride?), because I realize that 95% of the human race has difficulty asking for help, and I’m so close to being in that other 5%. (Did I mention that I suffer from pride?)

Over the years, and with a lot of assistance from God and myriads of angels that He has sent across/along my path, I have slowly managed to arrive at a point where I can usually ask for help from others before being forced to my knees by the weight of whatever cross I am bearing. This has usually saved me a lot of heartbreak and loss of wasted energy.

Asking for help also brings me to right size and helps me put my problem into perspective in the bigger scheme of things. When I ask another for help, I am admitting (finally!) to myself and to others that I don’t have all the answers. I am acknowledging that I am not the “be all and end all” of the universe, which in turn allows me to chip away at my pride and acquire a little humility. I am also offering to someone else the opportunity to come out of themselves and to do something good for another. It is a win-win situation.

Along the same lines:

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Shared Wisdom: Women’s Strength

Margo — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 11:13:00 +0000

Be A Queen

(Part of the commencement address made by Oprah Winfrey to the graduates of all-female Spelman College in 1993.)

Be a queen. Dare to be different. Be a pioneer. Be a leader. Be the kind of woman who in the face of adversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly toward your challenge. Take it on! Be a truth seeker and rule your domain, whatever it is – your home, your office, your family – with a loving heart.

Be a queen. Be tender. Continue to give birth to new ideas and rejoice in your womanhood………….. My prayer is that we will stop wasting time by being mundane and mediocre………. We are daughters of God – here to teach the world how to love.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, where you come from, who your parents are – nor your social or economic status. None of that matters. What matters is how you choose to love, how you choose to express that love through your work, through your family, through what you have to give the world.

Be a queen. Own your power and your glory!

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I Will Be Still And Steady

If, like a Cherokee warrior, I can look at the new year as an opportunity to stand on new ground, then strength and courage are on my side. I will remember that things do work out, bodies do heal, relationships mend – not because I said it, but because I believe it.

But it is time to make things right, to stay on the path. As water runs fresh and free from the woodland spring, so new life and meaning will bubble up from my own inner source. I will be still and steady, because there is nothing to be gained by showing fear in a chaotic world.

Joyce Sequichie Hifler

Along the same lines:

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